United thread 2013/14

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Let me tell you about my colleague, Red Dave. Last week we discussed the merits of various Prem strikers, and were divided on who was the best. Monty and I favoured Sergio Aguero whilst Red Dave argued in favour of RVP. Scouse Mark said he would take either at Goodson. Later that afternoon we received an email from Red Dave with the following scoring chart of Premiership goals:
RVP Aguero
2011-12 30 23
2012-13 26 12
2013-14 7 12
Total 63 47

Red Dave regarded this as conclusive proof that RVP was in fact the better striker, and Monty and I let it ride.

Today we were reminded of the email and that we had not responded, and Red Dave asked for our acknowledgement that RVP was the better striker. I responded to this with the following picture:

usebete3.jpg


So no Red Dave, based on facts and statistics, Aguero has the best minutes to goal ratio of every Premiership striker who has scored at least 40 goals, and is, undisputedly, the best Premiership striker ever.

Red Dave didn't like this, and thought we were ganging up on him. He doesn't like losing an argument. He accused us of being obsessed with Aguero, until I pointed out that it was he who asked the question in the first place, and we were just responding.

Dave is suffering at the moment. He realises everything is not right at OT. He no longer accepts free tickets to games - "Why would I want to go and watch that crap?" And he is seriously worried that 4th place might not be attainable this season. He clings to the hope that United's history will allow them to attract some useful players in January, but deep down he knows they are in decline.

He has always maintained Liverpool to be United's biggest rival, but is starting to acknowledge that City are there or thereabouts now too. He rubs it in that Wigan beat us in the cup final, but fails to see the irony that it was the same Wigan team who beat them a year before and contributed towards them not winning the Prem.

I am not sure if he is serious or not, but he says he prefers the Glazer ownership model to ours. This is despite being the proud owner or his green and yellow scarf from a few years ago.

All the very worst characteristics of United's fan base sits right next to me at work rolled up into one sad, bitter, suffering, delusional plastic supporter.
 
One rule I've always tried to live by in life is that if you dish it out, then you should be able to take it. From someone who spends a lot of time taking the piss out of others, for me it's important not to take myself too seriously all of the time.

In the years ahead, if events unfold as I hope and increasingly expect, it is a mantra that united fans should try and emulate as much as possible.

I remember hearing that a significant number of united fans were in the Luton end when we were relegated in '83 notwithstanding the fact that their club were playing the same day. That seemed to mark the beginning of nearly three decades of, at times, highly puerile derision, gloating and scorn at our expense.

united fans ringing phone-ins pretending to be blues affecting gratuitous use of the word "massive"; songs about Curly Watts and floodlights; dismissive talk about 'Noisy Neighbours' and a 'small club with a small mentality'; united players refusing to refer to us by name - claiming as they comically still do that Liverpool was, is, their big game; the club endorsed banner which was a byword for a complete absence of grace and dare I say it, class; their fans organising a party to mark our 30 years without a trophy.

All these things were there to serve the purpose of self-amusement, but they were also designed to act as a means of asserting a sense of superiority over us. A snidely way of reminding us about who, in their eyes, was boss.

These are things that I took issue with at the time, but largely took on the chin. I hoped and prayed that the dynamics would change, but in my heart I never thought that was anything other than a fantasy.

And now we find ourselves on the cusp of the boot being on the other foot, at least to some extent. If things continue to develop as they have in recent months I will do my utmost not to descend into the same petty, bitter, small time antics that united fans did for all those years, but equally I will never forget the vindictive way we were spoken of and to, by many united fans merely for supporting our club.

On that basis, they shouldn't expect anything other than an uncomfortable ride from me and many other blues and if they have any character about them, it is something they should accept with a degree of good grace and humility that was all too missing when they assumed we'd always be second best.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.
 
gordondaviesmoustache said:
One rule I've always tried to live by in life is that if you dish it out, then you should be able to take it. From someone who spends a lot of time taking the piss out of others, for me it's important not to take myself too seriously all of the time.

In the years ahead, if events unfold as I hope and increasingly expect, it is a mantra that united fans should try and emulate as much as possible.

I remember hearing that a significant number of united fans were in the Luton end when we were relegated in '83 notwithstanding the fact that their club were playing the same day. That seemed to mark the beginning of nearly three decades of, at times, highly puerile derision, gloating and scorn at our expense.

united fans ringing phone-ins pretending to be blues affecting gratuitous use of the word "massive"; songs about Curly Watts and floodlights; dismissive talk about 'Noisy Neighbours' and a 'small club with a small mentality'; united players refusing to refer to us by name - claiming as they comically still do that Liverpool was, is, their big game; the club endorsed banner which was a byword for a complete absence of grace and dare I say it, class; their fans organising a party to mark our 30 years without a trophy.

All these things were there to serve the purpose of self-amusement, but they were also designed to act as a means of asserting a sense of superiority over us. A snidely way of reminding us about who, in their eyes, was boss.

These are things that I took issue with at the time, but largely took on the chin. I hoped and prayed that the dynamics would change, but in my heart I never thought that was anything other than a fantasy.

And now we find ourselves on the cusp of the boot being on the other foot, at least to some extent. If things continue to develop as they have in recent months I will do my utmost not to descend into the same petty, bitter, small time antics that united fans did for all those years, but equally I will never forget the vindictive way we were spoken of and to by many united fans merely for supporting our club.

On that basis they shouldn't expect anything other than an uncomfortable ride from me and many other blues and if they have any character about them it is something they should accept with a degree of good grace and humility that was all too missing when they assumed we'd always be second best.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Click to expand...

No you won't, you'll do the same as most of us will do and ridicule the glory-hunting twats, rub it into their faces at every fucking opportunity, remind them of their past indiscretions and never, EVER, let it lie as long as we are in the ascendency, it's what they gave us, so fuck them, let's give it back.
 
gordondaviesmoustache said:
One rule I've always tried to live by in life is that if you dish it out, then you should be able to take it. From someone who spends a lot of time taking the piss out of others, for me it's important not to take myself too seriously all of the time.

In the years ahead, if events unfold as I hope and increasingly expect, it is a mantra that united fans should try and emulate as much as possible.

I remember hearing that a significant number of united fans were in the Luton end when we were relegated in '83 notwithstanding the fact that their club were playing the same day. That seemed to mark the beginning of nearly three decades of, at times, highly puerile derision, gloating and scorn at our expense.

united fans ringing phone-ins pretending to be blues affecting gratuitous use of the word "massive"; songs about Curly Watts and floodlights; dismissive talk about 'Noisy Neighbours' and a 'small club with a small mentality'; united players refusing to refer to us by name - claiming as they comically still do that Liverpool was, is, their big game; the club endorsed banner which was a byword for a complete absence of grace and dare I say it, class; their fans organising a party to mark our 30 years without a trophy.

All these things were there to serve the purpose of self-amusement, but they were also designed to act as a means of asserting a sense of superiority over us. A snidely way of reminding us about who, in their eyes, was boss.

These are things that I took issue with at the time, but largely took on the chin. I hoped and prayed that the dynamics would change, but in my heart I never thought that was anything other than a fantasy.

And now we find ourselves on the cusp of the boot being on the other foot, at least to some extent. If things continue to develop as they have in recent months I will do my utmost not to descend into the same petty, bitter, small time antics that united fans did for all those years, but equally I will never forget the vindictive way we were spoken of and to, by many united fans merely for supporting our club.

On that basis, they shouldn't expect anything other than an uncomfortable ride from me and many other blues and if they have any character about them, it is something they should accept with a degree of good grace and humility that was all too missing when they assumed we'd always be second best.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Click to expand...

Please every blue read that.

Oh and any lurking red twat.
 
Bilboblue said:
gordondaviesmoustache said:
One rule I've always tried to live by in life is that if you dish it out, then you should be able to take it. From someone who spends a lot of time taking the piss out of others, for me it's important not to take myself too seriously all of the time.

In the years ahead, if events unfold as I hope and increasingly expect, it is a mantra that united fans should try and emulate as much as possible.

I remember hearing that a significant number of united fans were in the Luton end when we were relegated in '83 notwithstanding the fact that their club were playing the same day. That seemed to mark the beginning of nearly three decades of, at times, highly puerile derision, gloating and scorn at our expense.

united fans ringing phone-ins pretending to be blues affecting gratuitous use of the word "massive"; songs about Curly Watts and floodlights; dismissive talk about 'Noisy Neighbours' and a 'small club with a small mentality'; united players refusing to refer to us by name - claiming as they comically still do that Liverpool was, is, their big game; the club endorsed banner which was a byword for a complete absence of grace and dare I say it, class; their fans organising a party to mark our 30 years without a trophy.

All these things were there to serve the purpose of self-amusement, but they were also designed to act as a means of asserting a sense of superiority over us. A snidely way of reminding us about who, in their eyes, was boss.

These are things that I took issue with at the time, but largely took on the chin. I hoped and prayed that the dynamics would change, but in my heart I never thought that was anything other than a fantasy.

And now we find ourselves on the cusp of the boot being on the other foot, at least to some extent. If things continue to develop as they have in recent months I will do my utmost not to descend into the same petty, bitter, small time antics that united fans did for all those years, but equally I will never forget the vindictive way we were spoken of and to by many united fans merely for supporting our club.

On that basis they shouldn't expect anything other than an uncomfortable ride from me and many other blues and if they have any character about them it is something they should accept with a degree of good grace and humility that was all too missing when they assumed we'd always be second best.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Click to expand...

No you won't, you'll do the same as most of us will do and ridicule the glory-hunting twats, rub it into their faces at every fucking opportunity, remind them of their past indiscretions and never, EVER, let it lie as long as we are in the ascendency, it's what they gave us, so fuck them, let's give it back.
Click to expand...
I'll "do my utmost", but maybe I'll falter a little along the way ;-)
 
gordondaviesmoustache said:
One rule I've always tried to live by in life is that if you dish it out, then you should be able to take it. From someone who spends a lot of time taking the piss out of others, for me it's important not to take myself too seriously all of the time.

In the years ahead, if events unfold as I hope and increasingly expect, it is a mantra that united fans should try and emulate as much as possible.

I remember hearing that a significant number of united fans were in the Luton end when we were relegated in '83 notwithstanding the fact that their club were playing the same day. That seemed to mark the beginning of nearly three decades of, at times, highly puerile derision, gloating and scorn at our expense.

united fans ringing phone-ins pretending to be blues affecting gratuitous use of the word "massive"; songs about Curly Watts and floodlights; dismissive talk about 'Noisy Neighbours' and a 'small club with a small mentality'; united players refusing to refer to us by name - claiming as they comically still do that Liverpool was, is, their big game; the club endorsed banner which was a byword for a complete absence of grace and dare I say it, class; their fans organising a party to mark our 30 years without a trophy.

All these things were there to serve the purpose of self-amusement, but they were also designed to act as a means of asserting a sense of superiority over us. A snidely way of reminding us about who, in their eyes, was boss.

These are things that I took issue with at the time, but largely took on the chin. I hoped and prayed that the dynamics would change, but in my heart I never thought that was anything other than a fantasy.

And now we find ourselves on the cusp of the boot being on the other foot, at least to some extent. If things continue to develop as they have in recent months I will do my utmost not to descend into the same petty, bitter, small time antics that united fans did for all those years, but equally I will never forget the vindictive way we were spoken of and to, by many united fans merely for supporting our club.

On that basis, they shouldn't expect anything other than an uncomfortable ride from me and many other blues and if they have any character about them, it is something they should accept with a degree of good grace and humility that was all too missing when they assumed we'd always be second best.

Live by the sword, die by the sword.
Click to expand...
post of the year.
 
Fuck 'em, kick them at every opportunity. It's small, it's petty, but they did it to us didn't they?

:)
 
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