What have you done you are ashamed of

BosnianBlue said:
Yeah, I'm pretty good in writing English, though not that good in speaking. Since I moved from Dubrovnik, where I had to know some foreign languages, with it being a tourist city, I rarely practice speaking English so my tongue is bit out of fitness :D
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It’s ‘practise’ as it’s a verb :-)

I might have to downgrade your English to ‘excellent’.
 
BosnianBlue said:
This was not Sarajevo, this was Dubrovnik, Croatia. I was born in Dubrovnik and lived there until I was 27. I moved to Bosnia when I married a girl from Sarajevo.

I was 14 when war started so I wasn't in army but my brother was a commander of all forces in that particular side of city defense (just before war he finished serving in military school of Yugoslavian Army) and 80% of all soldiers in that area were my neighbours, so I was spending days on their reserve positions most of the time in first year until we pushed Serbs back from the city and our forces moved to the suburbs and further to the border with Bosnia and Montenegro.

The war over there was bit more relaxed than what you were seeing from Bosnia. In first few days they pushed us very easily (we barely had anyone under arms) to the very outskirts of city center and then it was few months of stationary war with occasional shelling. Dubrovnik was always well known in the World, so they never went full dippers against us, because whenever they started to shell and attack bit harder, Unesco who had Old City under it's flag or someone else from Europe would intervene and save our arses. There were only few very dangerous situations early in the war when there was a real threat our defense could fall apart and maybe 10-15 days of heavy, heavy shelling when you couldn't move your nose out, but out of that there were periods when it was pretty calm or you would get few mortars on the city here and there.

It lasted a lot though, it was almost 4 years between first shelling of the city to the last one. But at times, specially in last year or two, there would be periods of months when city itself wouldn't get any fire, the fights were going on 20-30 kilometers away and even there it was a low intensity unless some big operation was going on. Dubrovnik battlefield was pretty much done back in 1992-93, but it was still there until 1995. as there were fights in other parts of the country. I was going to school for whole period of war except the first few months.

The interesting part is that first day of the war was the day that should be my very first day of high school. I was very proud of finally being a big boy and when I woke up that morning and saw it's 2 hours late of when I should be in school, I got mad at my mom why she didn't wake me up, she just said go out, you'll see. I went to the backyard and I heard the noise of heavy shelling from somewhere far. That same night first mortars felt in my neighbourhood, few houses just around mine were hit. Fucking hell, the war started at worst time possible in my life. Lost the best years of it.

Sarajevo, though, was the hell on the Earth for 4 years. What people here survived during that time is monumental stuff. They were hungry, thirsty, frozen. When the war ended, there was no piece of furniture in any house, they used it all to get some heat in winters that were colder than any since the war finished. It was tough here.
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Thanks for sharing this story, very insightful. You are from a fantastic part of the world, deeply scarred but a wonderful place. Hope to get back there soon when COVID blows over.
 
Thinking back to my school days I did something I regret, kind of ashamed of but I hated school and most teachers.

My all boys school was tough. A bit of a cross between the films Oliver Twist and Scum. Cruel draconian teachers were always trying to punish naughty boys with 6 of the best slipper on the arse, most probably for their own deviant sexual gratification. But we were young and naive to paedophilic bullies back then. I seemed to be getting the pump and cane more than most and after a while I got sick of harsh and unjust punishment so I rebelled and bacame the class clown. I wanted to learn but most teachers were more interested in thrashing my cute little ass in tormenting, not mentoring me!

Was in the metalwork room one lesson with my mate and he was pissing about on the welder burning metal into the coals.

"Get me something to burn mate I'm bored".... So off I went and found a two piece hammer in a drawer some kid had made..... "Here, burn this"... I tossed it on the coals and it soon turned to molten metal slipping through the coals..... "Fuckin' ace this mate, go get me something else"..... I then found a big square tin of powder coat flux.
"Go on then lad, throw it on"..... So I did, woosh!!! A big ball of fire touched the ceiling melting the gloss ceiling paint. Bits of enflamed paint falling from the ceiling.

My mate was grinning like a Cheshire cat. "I think we better stop mate" I said. "No, good fun this, see what else there is to burn mate".... Teacher was probably having a crafty cig and was nowhere to be seen. I'd gone through most of the cupboards under the tables and noticed Rigby's drawer on his desk was slightly ajar so I opened it to find something that appealed. It was a blue velvet case with his name embossed in gold lettering for passing his degree. Inside was lined in pale blue kid leather holding a solid Silva compass and protractor set.

I nervously took it to my pyromaniac pal to appease his boredom and said - "look at what I've found Dave"..... "What's that mate"?.... "Solid silver compass and protractor. I better put it back before we get into trouble mate"..."Go on lad throw it on"... "Fuck off, I'm putting it back".... "Go on lad, I dare ya"..... "Fuck it!"... On it went. Dave had the flame on it straight away pissing himself in a deranged manner as the silver droplets melted through the coals!...."Shit, we better stop this now mate". I looked at him and he at me. Both gulping like turkeys awaiting their fate at Christmas!. But it was mischievous fun...."Yeah, don't say owt, he'll be back soon mate".

Teacher came back into class shortly after and told us to pack stuff away as it was near end of lesson. Dave and I looked rather sheepish at each other but said nothing.

"Right boys, my compass and protractor set has gone missing, whoever's had it kindly return it or nobody leaves the class"...I think one or two of the other lads had seen us pissing about but I don't think anyone noticed it go on the fire.

We all stood there waiting to leave class and were getting impatient but we were going nowhere till his beloved compass and protractor set was returned to its rightful place. But nobody else knew who had taken it and what happened to it.

"Right lads I repeat, whoever has taken my compass and protractor set please return or nobody is leaving class". His eyes were scanning us like lasers to reveal a chink in our body language. Both myself and Dave looked at the floor to avoid eye contact. Rest of the lads started murmuring in discontentment - "wasn't me sir", "whoever's had it put it back, I need a cig", "come on own up" remarks. He scowled at us, getting angrier by the minute.

"For the third and final time I ask who has taken my compass and protractor set"?.... "I nervously blurted out - "me sir, I took it"..... "We'll put it back boy, then you can all leave class".... "I can't sir"..... "What do you mean you can't"?... "I can't sir. I was bored so I took it from your drawer and burned it on the fire pit"..... "YOU DID WHAT"! ???... "Show me"!... So he marched me over and I showed him the charred silver droplets as evidence. I looked at Dave and noticed him shitting it I'd dob him in but I didn't grass.

He grabbed my throat and frogmarched me 15 yards to the coat hangers next to the door, my tiptoes scraping the floor as he hung the back of my shirt collar on a metal coat hook whilst woman slapping me several times before releasing me. The rest of the class were highly amused heckling each time he smacked me across the face! He was a big strong guy and gave me a good hiding, suppose I deserved it really thinking back.

I never did let the teacher know it wasn't me who did the dreadful deed on his cherished compass and protractor set. As it happens, Mr Rigby was one of the better teachers and I do feel slightly ashamed for my part in what happened that day. But like I say, teachers in my school were mostly cruel bastards.

This song always reminds me of my school days, evoking memories, some good, but mostly bad memories though.
 
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Just now. Called all maddy mcann conspiracy theorist scum. I really hate them, I shouldn't entertain their ideas and gossip induced hated but it really annoys me that they're now shifting to "the child shouldn't have been left alone" now that is looking like they can't say they murdered her child.
 
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