blue underpants said:
It's not like you can smell it or the camera pans to the pan, revealing a big juicy mocking bird with a broken head.
"Need extra thick toilet roll when you don't get a clean break?"
Tough shit, the puppy just ran off with it.
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- Thread starter BigJoe#1
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It's not like you can smell it or the camera pans to the pan, revealing a big juicy mocking bird with a broken head.
"Need extra thick toilet roll when you don't get a clean break?"
Tough shit, the puppy just ran off with it.
Pigeonho
Well-Known Member
The new oak furniture land one with the guy sliding along the floor, pointing out the various deals on a dramatic, theatrical fashion. I just want a fist to appear and for him to slide into that, not just knocking himself out, but knocking himself the fuck out.
Petetheblu
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 Sep 2007
- Messages
- 7,325
Anything with Raymond Winston......CNUT!!!
The Colonel
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 Jul 2009
- Messages
- 2,037
Agh I'd forgotten it until this thread made me think.
It was on Talksport In the morning s for a while - MacDonalds breakfasts I think.
Went something like:
"Are you having one of those 'kids playing up, still in your dressing gown, mother in law coming round' kind of mornings?"
Agghhh no I'm having a 'I've already got the kids into school driving to work late where I'll now have to slave all day, be under valued and have to stay late' kind of fooking day!!! I'd love to be sat on my fat arse wearing a dressing gown with the only worry in my head being the missus' mother impending arrival. And no, a greasy piece of rubber on stale bread won't cure all ails. Piss off Macca Ds.
Ahh that's better. Carry on.
It was on Talksport In the morning s for a while - MacDonalds breakfasts I think.
Went something like:
"Are you having one of those 'kids playing up, still in your dressing gown, mother in law coming round' kind of mornings?"
Agghhh no I'm having a 'I've already got the kids into school driving to work late where I'll now have to slave all day, be under valued and have to stay late' kind of fooking day!!! I'd love to be sat on my fat arse wearing a dressing gown with the only worry in my head being the missus' mother impending arrival. And no, a greasy piece of rubber on stale bread won't cure all ails. Piss off Macca Ds.
Ahh that's better. Carry on.
mcmanus
Well-Known Member
The one with a talking robot on a window cleaning doofer, I think its selling loans. WTF?
Sigh
Well-Known Member
They all get on my nerves, which is why I don't watch TV anymore.
1. They are aggressive / loud / restless...always moving...cutting rapidly from one image to the next...strobe-like. It is done to stop you thinking. It is done to promote concupiscence to promote sales. They know their audience.
2. They speak to the audience as though the audience were imbeciles; that is, they are uniformly patronizing and the audience loves it. How they laugh at the audience and with cause.
3. They are ambiguous, imprecise and reek of small print.
4. They are intrusive.
5. Sorry, you still haven't perfected the toothbrush or the razor? I thought the last model was your bestest ever never to be improved upon! Oh, no, that is what you claim every single fucking year. Yep, I can see how adding coloured bristles that fade with age makes a trip to the dentist less-likely or a sixteenth blade with an extra-virgin olive-oil based refillable lubricant reservoir is a marked improvement on the fifteen-blade macadamia nut oil model...ahhhhh....the glide! Oh yes, the square jaw and Bond girl all belong to me!
MUGS.
That's fine. Don't like it. Don't watch. So I don't.
Imagine - if you will - sitting in front of the goggle-box (dopamine receptors crying) watching something ever new and as un-improved as it is loud; as coarse as it is BBC "progressive"; or yet another offering involving someone famous for being famous, or another American show glorifying mayhem and cynicism and trans-relational infidelity etc. and there's a knock at the door, causing you to rise, and what you usually see on the TV is magically translated into a sales presentation your own front door. You'd fucking do bloody murder. You wouldn't stand for their selling antics on your door-step, sure as heck you wouldn't invite the fuckers into your front room for five minutes so I'll be buggered if I'm going to let these twats into my "living space" via the TV.
1. They are aggressive / loud / restless...always moving...cutting rapidly from one image to the next...strobe-like. It is done to stop you thinking. It is done to promote concupiscence to promote sales. They know their audience.
2. They speak to the audience as though the audience were imbeciles; that is, they are uniformly patronizing and the audience loves it. How they laugh at the audience and with cause.
3. They are ambiguous, imprecise and reek of small print.
4. They are intrusive.
5. Sorry, you still haven't perfected the toothbrush or the razor? I thought the last model was your bestest ever never to be improved upon! Oh, no, that is what you claim every single fucking year. Yep, I can see how adding coloured bristles that fade with age makes a trip to the dentist less-likely or a sixteenth blade with an extra-virgin olive-oil based refillable lubricant reservoir is a marked improvement on the fifteen-blade macadamia nut oil model...ahhhhh....the glide! Oh yes, the square jaw and Bond girl all belong to me!
MUGS.
That's fine. Don't like it. Don't watch. So I don't.
Imagine - if you will - sitting in front of the goggle-box (dopamine receptors crying) watching something ever new and as un-improved as it is loud; as coarse as it is BBC "progressive"; or yet another offering involving someone famous for being famous, or another American show glorifying mayhem and cynicism and trans-relational infidelity etc. and there's a knock at the door, causing you to rise, and what you usually see on the TV is magically translated into a sales presentation your own front door. You'd fucking do bloody murder. You wouldn't stand for their selling antics on your door-step, sure as heck you wouldn't invite the fuckers into your front room for five minutes so I'll be buggered if I'm going to let these twats into my "living space" via the TV.
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
jimharri said:Leave the delightful Ms Brook out of this!TCIB said:A lot of these "gossip magazines" being advertised now, who fucking cares about Kelly fucking Brookes whirlwind romance or what Kerry Katona has to say about anything at all.
These magazines should be banned and replaced with less brain numbing bullshit.
The twats that market this shite and sell it should be beaten with sticks and made to shovel shit for a few years for peanuts.
Well said jim lad, well said.