Worst thing you've ever said to a girl.

[citymadmad]

while looking at last years hoilday pictures.........

"looks like you have put a bit of weight on since last year"?

WHY?

 

[Anonymous]

Of course I love you.

 

[mcfcliam]

Some girl in school kept giving me shit for some unknown reason.

'You're a fucking slag who can't keep your minge in your pants and not to mention you look like a fucking retarded hippo!'

She never looked at me again.

She's had a kid at 17...says it all really.

 

[Cellarite]

was trying to get a taxi about years ago outside royale's in town. i was chatting this girl up but sort of knew she wasn't interested. kept on mithering her though and got a few laughs. she went in a phonebox to phone her taxi and i asked if i could stand in with her. she was happy with it and we continued to have a laugh in the phonebox. i asked if i could get into her taxi and go home with her but she didn't seem keen on the idea but didn't dismiss it out of hand. it was then that i had one of those drunken moments that make no sense other than to make yourself laugh for a couple of minutes.

i picked up the phone and rang my sister. she answered (it was about 3 in the morning) and i asked if everything was alright. my sister is confused but says yes, all is ok. i asked whether alison (my niece) was in bed and whether she has behaved. my sister starts getting annoyed and asks why i'm ringing pissed up. i said "i'm going to a mate's house for a game of cards so won't be back 'til morning" (we didn't live in same house). i told our kid i loved her and put the phone down.

this girl i'm stood with asks who i'd just phoned. i said it was the wife but not to worry because i'd cleared the way for me to go home with her.

i then recieved the biggest SLAP i've ever taken right across my fizzog. i still thought it was piss funny though.

 

[Thatchersforearm]

When I was 18 I got a job in a restaurant in town. It was run by a husband and wife team and their fit daughter was a waitress. After a few weeks of sweet, sweet sexy time she asked if I was interested in a threesome. Like a dog on heat I said yes, but when she asked who I had in mind I replied - and to this day have no idea why - 'you're mum is hot'.

I lost my girlfriend and my job a few weeks after. Her mum was fit though.

 

[Young_TomO]

When I was 18 I got a job in a restaurant in town. It was run by a husband and wife team and their fit daughter was a waitress. After a few weeks of sweet, sweet sexy time she asked if I was interested in a threesome. Like a dog on heat I said yes, but when she asked who I had in mind I replied - and to this day have no idea why - 'you're mum is hot'.

I lost my girlfriend and my job a few weeks after. Her mum was fit though.

You ever get to hit the mum?

 

[TOOTS]

I DO

 

[johnny on the spot]

To one of Mrs Jots' former student housemates (who'd been pissing everyone off for weeks), while waiting for Mrs Jots to get back from a lecture: 'There's something weird about this house, you know. I'm sure I saw something on the stairs earlier, looking at us. Just out of the corner of my eye. Probably just a shadow or something'.

Did the trick.

 

[Bingo]

one that springs to mind, chatting up a bit of a big unit in the boozer one night think i meant to ask her age instead the words just slipped out "what size are you?" the shit i got off her and her mates unreal, still ended up doing the wild thing though.

 

[jacko74]

Pretty tame by the standard of other posts on here, but when a girl once asked me if I liked her perfume I said it was nice and it smelt like Mr Sheen, she didnt take it as a compliment for some reason!