Worst thing you've ever said to a girl.

TheMightyQuinn said:
I'm rude to all attractive girls as a point of principle. They don't expect it, it confuses them and I'm a twat.

This is what I do, and it's working splendidly for me. I haven't had intimate contact with a girl for 6 years.
 
Long time ago, was out with a crowd of budgie's from work, got pissed and told the one that I was after that she 'was the best of a bad lot'. Got nowhere fast that night. Good craic though.
 
An old girlfriend introduced me to one of her workmates who'd just come back off maternity leave.
It was at her works doo and I'd had a few. She pulled a photo of her new baby out of her bag and showed it me. The conversation went like this:
New mum: Here's my treasure
Me: Aah, what's his name?
New mum: Jacob
Me: Bwahaha Fuckin 'ell what'd call him that for?
New mum burst into tears and storms off
My ex: You fuckin' bastard
Me: Whaaat?

I didn't know the new baby etiquette back then, but Jacob's one shit name.
 
She said "I really think you love Manchester City more than you love me." And I said "I love Manchester United more than I love you."
 
Out in town one night ,I spotted a pair of girls who were obviously sisters,"alright girls,Cinderella having a night in?".
 
I was steaming on Saturday with it being my birthday. I was supposed to be going out with the lady for a meal at night, but ended up having a few cans at mine and then a trip to the pub with a few mates in the early afternoon. My mates were egging me on to stay out for a bit and buying all manner of shots, which I downed and stayed out a little longer than planned.
She was ringing and I was ignoring it and thinking I'd be fine by the time she turned up at mine. Well I wasn't.
Instead of saying that I was too pissed to go out I remember mentioning me likening her body to Homer Simpson's face (her tits were like his eyes, belly button like his mouth, etc). She stormed out of my house, almost smashing the door as she slammed it, and I've not heard from her since... and my mates had left the pub by the time I'd semi-sobered up and ventured back out.

Ah well, we beat Blackpool the day after.
 
Joycee Banercheck said:
I was steaming on Saturday with it being my birthday. I was supposed to be going out with the lady for a meal at night, but ended up having a few cans at mine and then a trip to the pub with a few mates in the early afternoon. My mates were egging me on to stay out for a bit and buying all manner of shots, which I downed and stayed out a little longer than planned.
She was ringing and I was ignoring it and thinking I'd be fine by the time she turned up at mine. Well I wasn't.
Instead of saying that I was too pissed to go out I remember mentioning me likening her body to Homer Simpson's face (her tits were like his eyes, belly button like his mouth, etc). She stormed out of my house, almost smashing the door as she slammed it, and I've not heard from her since... and my mates had left the pub by the time I'd semi-sobered up and ventured back out.

Ah well, we beat Blackpool the day after.

There is a pic of this online, I can't get as I'm at work, are you sure this happened or have you seen the pic then made up the story?

Just checking :-)
 

Don't have an account? Register now and see fewer ads!

SIGN UP
Back
Top
  AdBlock Detected
Bluemoon relies on advertising to pay our hosting fees. Please support the site by disabling your ad blocking software to help keep the forum sustainable. Thanks.