Worst thing you've ever said to a girl.

Timmmmahhhh said:
Joycee Banercheck said:
I was steaming on Saturday with it being my birthday. I was supposed to be going out with the lady for a meal at night, but ended up having a few cans at mine and then a trip to the pub with a few mates in the early afternoon. My mates were egging me on to stay out for a bit and buying all manner of shots, which I downed and stayed out a little longer than planned.
She was ringing and I was ignoring it and thinking I'd be fine by the time she turned up at mine. Well I wasn't.
Instead of saying that I was too pissed to go out I remember mentioning me likening her body to Homer Simpson's face (her tits were like his eyes, belly button like his mouth, etc). She stormed out of my house, almost smashing the door as she slammed it, and I've not heard from her since... and my mates had left the pub by the time I'd semi-sobered up and ventured back out.

Ah well, we beat Blackpool the day after.
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There is a pic of this online, I can't get as I'm at work, are you sure this happened or have you seen the pic then made up the story?

Just checking :-)
Click to expand...

What, this one? ****WARNING NSFW**** ;)
 
Telling a rather fat lady i had my arm nearly around that the reason i had just given my mate 100 quid was due to me coming 2nd in a pull a pig competition.

This seemed rile her somewhat.
 
Timmmmahhhh said:
Joycee Banercheck said:
I was steaming on Saturday with it being my birthday. I was supposed to be going out with the lady for a meal at night, but ended up having a few cans at mine and then a trip to the pub with a few mates in the early afternoon. My mates were egging me on to stay out for a bit and buying all manner of shots, which I downed and stayed out a little longer than planned.
She was ringing and I was ignoring it and thinking I'd be fine by the time she turned up at mine. Well I wasn't.
Instead of saying that I was too pissed to go out I remember mentioning me likening her body to Homer Simpson's face (her tits were like his eyes, belly button like his mouth, etc). She stormed out of my house, almost smashing the door as she slammed it, and I've not heard from her since... and my mates had left the pub by the time I'd semi-sobered up and ventured back out.

Ah well, we beat Blackpool the day after.
Click to expand...

There is a pic of this online, I can't get as I'm at work, are you sure this happened or have you seen the pic then made up the story?

Just checking :-)
Click to expand...
I've seen the pic, which is what prompted me to say it. If I hadn't have seen it I'd have said something else just as fuck-up-worthy such was my state.
 
I'd been seeing this girl for a few weeks and we'd taken it slowly as we were mature young adults. Or at least I thought I was. First few times we got down to business were mainly frisky affairs but then came what my mates call vintage me.

Me: "Are you gonna give it a suck?"
Her: "ermm...I'm not too keen on that"
Me: "Well you either are or you're not. Any chance?"
Her: "No. Sorry"
Me: "This relationship's going nowhere. I think it's best if you leave if you're not going to perform the basics"

Thinking back it was quite harsh as she left in tears and I did feel a tad guilty.
 
Remember going pictures when I was 14, anyway had these moody girls behind me. They went off to the toilet so I said to my mate without looking ''fucking ell bet they have gone to change there tampons the moody bitches'' Didnt realise they were still there :/ cue lots of abuse haha
 
simonr555 said:
I'd been seeing this girl for a few weeks and we'd taken it slowly as we were mature young adults. Or at least I thought I was. First few times we got down to business were mainly frisky affairs but then came what my mates call vintage me.

Me: "Are you gonna give it a suck?"
Her: "ermm...I'm not too keen on that"
Me: "Well you either are or you're not. Any chance?"
Her: "No. Sorry"
Me: "This relationship's going nowhere. I think it's best if you leave if you're not going to perform the basics"

Thinking back it was quite harsh as she left in tears and I did feel a tad guilty.
Click to expand...
Did you go slug wrestling first though?
 
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