United thread 2017/18

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Brilliant - they are fucked now! Pogpa clearly has issues and will never be fit or consistent plus he is a complete twat. Lukaku is a 30 million pound mid table striker. They are just a big team of cloggers. They have a manager who is outdated and will need a big pay off. There ground is like a 1960s physics lab. The fans are all wankers. All 659 million of them. They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53. Their neighbours are playing the best football the premiership has ever seen with a manager who is pleasant. They have a vile narcissistic wanker who lives in a hotel and has not settled. Their training ground is near a load of ugly pylons. They are a fucking repugnant classless bunch of wankers and they have finished behind us for god knows how many years and will do again this year!! Three weeks ago they thought they would win the title - now they realise they are shit!!

Karma you red twats!!
I will write this while the rags are 2nd in the league.
They couldn't get Pep so had to get 2nd best (allegedly) in Peg.
They couldn't get the players they wanted,
so they went for 2nd best.
They are 2nd because they have been playing teams from the bottom half of the league and team Harry Kane didn't have Harry Kane.
They were 2nd best to Huddersfield Town and Chelsea.
They have got owners who are putting America first and milking the club for all it is worth.
They will finish lower than 2nd, 4th perhaps or 6th possibly.
They achieved success by intimidating and bullying other teams and when that didn't work blatant cheating.
Well times have changed now, and they are going to be eating a lot of humble pie.
Enjoy!
 
My worry is over half of the 659m will suddenly start being fans of our wonderful club.

We all know the ones who don't go anymore or have never gone....before we know it every pub & street corner will have a boring arsehole who proports to have been blue from birth.

Cheeky fucker thats almost my user name lol.

but i agree that we dont want them scrotes following us
 
Brilliant - they are fucked now! Pogpa clearly has issues and will never be fit or consistent plus he is a complete twat. Lukaku is a 30 million pound mid table striker. They are just a big team of cloggers. They have a manager who is outdated and will need a big pay off. There ground is like a 1960s physics lab. The fans are all wankers. All 659 million of them. They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53. Their neighbours are playing the best football the premiership has ever seen with a manager who is pleasant. They have a vile narcissistic wanker who lives in a hotel and has not settled. Their training ground is near a load of ugly pylons. They are a fucking repugnant classless bunch of wankers and they have finished behind us for god knows how many years and will do again this year!! Three weeks ago they thought they would win the title - now they realise they are shit!!

Karma you red twats!!
nHQp.gif
 
Brilliant - they are fucked now! Pogpa clearly has issues and will never be fit or consistent plus he is a complete twat. Lukaku is a 30 million pound mid table striker. They are just a big team of cloggers. They have a manager who is outdated and will need a big pay off. There ground is like a 1960s physics lab. The fans are all wankers. All 659 million of them. They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53. Their neighbours are playing the best football the premiership has ever seen with a manager who is pleasant. They have a vile narcissistic wanker who lives in a hotel and has not settled. Their training ground is near a load of ugly pylons. They are a fucking repugnant classless bunch of wankers and they have finished behind us for god knows how many years and will do again this year!! Three weeks ago they thought they would win the title - now they realise they are shit!!

Karma you red twats!!

Brilliant.
 
Brilliant - they are fucked now! Pogpa clearly has issues and will never be fit or consistent plus he is a complete twat. Lukaku is a 30 million pound mid table striker. They are just a big team of cloggers. They have a manager who is outdated and will need a big pay off. There ground is like a 1960s physics lab. The fans are all wankers. All 659 million of them. They have a fat left back they paid 30 million for. A 32 million pound centre half from Sweden who is shit. Mata is a lovely bloke but no pace. The Armenian has proved to be a bit shit. Jones is pig ugly. Lindergard is a scrote. Martial has French issues. Rashford wants to play for us. The goalies girlfriend will dump him if he stays in Manchester much longer. Ibrahimovic is 53. Their neighbours are playing the best football the premiership has ever seen with a manager who is pleasant. They have a vile narcissistic wanker who lives in a hotel and has not settled. Their training ground is near a load of ugly pylons. They are a fucking repugnant classless bunch of wankers and they have finished behind us for god knows how many years and will do again this year!! Three weeks ago they thought they would win the title - now they realise they are shit!!

Karma you red twats!!

What a truly magnificent rant.

Sorry WW but I had to read it out loud in my best Cartman voice to get the full effect. Absolutely tremendous.
 
Compare and contrast

pjyD0Ye.jpg


SXQh3L6.jpg


....Some facts jump out with the colours and positions on the 1st image.
 
Compare and contrast

pjyD0Ye.jpg


SXQh3L6.jpg


....Some facts jump out with the colours and positions on the 1st image.

They have scored 18 of their 24 goals against teams in the bottom half. 6 in 5 games against top half teams. Flat track bullies.
 
United being United it was brushed under the carpet, but did they really have a good transfer window?

Whilst they were a bit overrated (and overpriced) Matic and Lukaku were at the very minimum sensible transfers. Lukaku is a proven goalscorer, and without Ibrahimovic their next best option was to rely on Rashford so his signing made sense. Plus their centre midfield was weak in parts so signing Matic (a guy Mourinho knows) again, somewhat made sense.


But just as everyone said about Liverpool, United have a load of gaps in quality that just haven't been addressed. Outside of an increasingly ageing Valencia, they have no reliable fullbacks (that includes Rojo). They have no wingers who can produce high quality football regularly. Outside of Pogba, they are almost completely bereft of creativity in midfield. That's including Mata and Mkhitaryan for some odd reason. Whilst I think Jones is a very easy target of unfair criticism, and harshly underrated by many, he's still definitely not good enough for a Mourinho side. Look at the great Mourinho sides and you'll see great defensive pairings. Terry and Carvalho. Lucio and Samuel. Ramos and Pepe. Jones is not that standard.


I think their initial battering of super shitty teams gave the media licence to ignore the facts, but the truth is that they are still nowhere as good as they should be on paper.

Think about comparing their players to ours. Obviously we'd be biased and say ours are all better and suit Pep more. They'd say theirs are better because they're more Mourinho players. But if a manager who was neither Pep or Mourinho had the selection of Manchester's players to build a team you'd be hard stretched to find any United players selected. Probably just De Gea (who's shot stopping is arguably as good as anybody's tbf).


As a City fan I'm happy that our team is on another level to theirs. But as someone who doesn't like inaccurate spreading of news I think I think it's silly that nobody is questioning the fact that their players are a bit shit.

What's funny is that I think Mourinho knows that. Compare this United team to his Inter team, both his Chelsea sides and his Madrid side and it looks bad. At all those teams he could set up ultra negatively when necessary because he'd have top attacking players like Drogba, Robben, Lampard, Ibrahimovic/Eto'o, Sneijder, Milito, Ozil, Benzema, Di Maria, Ronaldo, Hazard, Willian, Oscar, Costa and probably many others to bail him out. At United he hasn't even got one player like that.



tl;dr - United's shitty players and questionable transfer window is their biggest problem. Not even an ultra-pragmatist like Mourinho can squeeze results out of them.
 
United being United it was brushed under the carpet, but did they really have a good transfer window?

Whilst they were a bit overrated (and overpriced) Matic and Lukaku were at the very minimum sensible transfers. Lukaku is a proven goalscorer, and without Ibrahimovic their next best option was to rely on Rashford so his signing made sense. Plus their centre midfield was weak in parts so signing Matic (a guy Mourinho knows) again, somewhat made sense.


But just as everyone said about Liverpool, United have a load of gaps in quality that just haven't been addressed. Outside of an increasingly ageing Valencia, they have no reliable fullbacks (that includes Rojo). They have no wingers who can produce high quality football regularly. Outside of Pogba, they are almost completely bereft of creativity in midfield. That's including Mata and Mkhitaryan for some odd reason. Whilst I think Jones is a very easy target of unfair criticism, and harshly underrated by many, he's still definitely not good enough for a Mourinho side. Look at the great Mourinho sides and you'll see great defensive pairings. Terry and Carvalho. Lucio and Samuel. Ramos and Pepe. Jones is not that standard.


I think their initial battering of super shitty teams gave the media licence to ignore the facts, but the truth is that they are still nowhere as good as they should be on paper.

Think about comparing their players to ours. Obviously we'd be biased and say ours are all better and suit Pep more. They'd say theirs are better because they're more Mourinho players. But if a manager who was neither Pep or Mourinho had the selection of Manchester's players to build a team you'd be hard stretched to find any United players selected. Probably just De Gea (who's shot stopping is arguably as good as anybody's tbf).


As a City fan I'm happy that our team is on another level to theirs. But as someone who doesn't like inaccurate spreading of news I think I think it's silly that nobody is questioning the fact that their players are a bit shit.

What's funny is that I think Mourinho knows that. Compare this United team to his Inter team, both his Chelsea sides and his Madrid side and it looks bad. At all those teams he could set up ultra negatively when necessary because he'd have top attacking players like Drogba, Robben, Lampard, Ibrahimovic/Eto'o, Sneijder, Milito, Ozil, Benzema, Di Maria, Ronaldo, Hazard, Willian, Oscar, Costa and probably many others to bail him out. At United he hasn't even got one player like that.



tl;dr - United's shitty players and questionable transfer window is their biggest problem. Not even an ultra-pragmatist like Mourinho can squeeze results out of them.


I preferred my take on them.
 
They have scored 18 of their 24 goals against teams in the bottom half. 6 in 5 games against top half teams. Flat track bullies.
And

They’ve played only 3 of the top 10.
The have a really bad November and december
 
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