The "let's talk" thread

From your posts, your life sounds quite cool to be honest. You're here there and everywhere with Wales, seeing places and what not.....i'd see no reason to give that lifestyle up....

The lifestyle isn’t being given up. I just can’t keep living where I am now (it’s being sold next year) and I’ve come in to a significant five figure sum to allow a modest cash purchase elsewhere. I just don’t know where to go.

Work wise, I’ve been unemployed twice in twenty years for a month and six weeks in total. I am literally stood at a crossroads with no idea where to turn. I answer to nobody, have no kids and a handful of family and friends scattered all over the country.

I keep myself busy to starve off being on my own at 39. My lifestyle of heading in to Europe alone baffles some people but it’s second nature to me now.
 
If I don't tell the truth I can't look myself in the face in the mirror. And I've had low moments being unable to do that as I hated myself.(if that makes sense mate)

It does make sense, mate, yes. And although I’ve never met you personally it’s no less than I would have expected of you, judging by your posts. We all make mistakes and suffer life’s poisoned arrows from time to time. However, being true to yourself makes up for some of the other shit.
 
7 years ago my wife was diagnosed with breast cancer. She was only 33 at a time, we had 3 kids, the oldest one was 8, youngest only 4. It was an awful moment and stressful few years after that. Luckily, she fought it hard and brave and hopefully kicked the bastard out forever. In that period we had some big ups and downs financially. At moments, I was a step away from becoming very rich, I had 500 bitcoins at one time that could have made me 10 millions if I sold them on the top, were worth several hundreds of thousands when I had them, but I was trading pretty aggressively and lost them all. Absolutely all. We were left with her wage only at that point.

I picked myself up in a year and started building youtube account that got good pretty fast and last year I was starting to make 4-5k euros per month and when you live in the country where average wage is 500-600 eurs, you could imagine we had a very good life. There were few things we couldn't afford ourselves, lot of travels and stuff (traveling is a luxury here, it's not normal stuff like in UK).. but then suddenly in September, I just woke up, checked my email and found one from Google that said my account has been demonetized. Boom. Utter fucking shit. All kind of plans I had gone to the wind again overnight. This time I had spared some money, enough to be calm for 2-3 years probably so it was bit easier, but that thought of not being able to make all things we planned and that I have to pick myself again and search a new things to work on, was a big one.

It's a year now, I still haven't picked myself up and figured out a way to make some money. Still have some left and it's still not critical, but I've run out of ideas. I'm 41, not lot of jobs available here if it become critical and I've been working online for half of my life and barely know to do anything in real life. It's not as easy to make money online as before, so I'm getting bit nervous.

I don't have other problems in life, have a great family, wife, three beautiful kids, so it's much easier than some of you guys and money is really not everything and we're modest family, if needed to be, we don't really need too much, but there is some fear of the future first time in my life. I'm naturally pretty relaxed and "don't give a fuck" type, so it's bit strange and new to me. It was much easier when I was younger, but as I'm getting older when I'm in this kind of situations, I'm thinking more and more if time is on my side now. I am EU citizen, so I have options to move to some better places, but again, I really barely know to do any work after 20 years of being disconnected from real life workplaces.
 
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I was merry drunk after we first met. @Bigg Bigg Blue has been a bad influence on me on several occasions, top fella though; )

Second time we met I didn't get drunk. Had to be on my best behaviour and be the gentleman I am in safely escorting Karen to and from the stadium.

I'm not the one who was thrown out of a gay bar for being drunk am I ?
 
I think you 100% have to tell her. You might not get the reaction or response you're hoping for, but if you don't tell her then you'll never know and shit like that can eat you up inside for years.
Perhaps putting your thoughts into a letter and getting your feelings across in that way might be best. It gives her space to digest it all and puts the ball in her court.
Fingers crossed for that Hollywood ending!

I remember writing a pretty long, gushing post on a thread on here about 2 years ago (thread was about love at first sight). I was going out with a girl who I thought was literally perfect for me and how it felt amazing to have met someone so in tune with me with very similar interests etc etc
Naturally that all fell apart at the start of this year; we allowed the relationship to drift towards the end of 2018 and eventually called it a day in January. We did have a brief rekindle around March - May and it was actually like old times for a while but then I discovered something which put the final nail in the relationship coffin and we haven't spoken since, nor will we again. Sometimes you think you know someone, but in reality you don't know them at all. But I have no regrets that we gave it another shot despite what happened, and at least I have closure on that chapter of my life. I've 'mourned' the loss of the relationship/friendship and feel positive heading into 2020.

As they say in the superlative TV show Six Feet Under; everyday above ground is a good one.
 
I’m literally looking at a blank piece of paper for 2020. I had to relocate to London for personal reasons in 2018 and the circumstances that brought me down here are now over. All I know is I want out of London. I’ve also now got enough money to buy myself an affordable flat or house somewhere outside of the South East. I’ve just no idea where to go. I have a job in a nice organisation but it’s not the be all and end all. I have good transferable skills so I don’t fear unemployment. I’m always in work.

I visit Swansea for a weekend in February, Cardiff in March and need to squeeze Liverpool and Manchester in together at some point. All four of those places are viable options - plus maybe anywhere else?! I’m 40 next birthday, have hardly any family and can settle somewhere biggish with things to do and good transport.

I’m an absolute mongrel so I don’t really have roots anywhere. I literally have no clue what to do.

Some, if not many would perhaps envy that position tbf. Many people I know aren't particularly happy when the veil is lifted from their 'normal, family lives'. I only really found about all that after own family relationship breakdown. Some are meant for the famly life, others can drive their personality mad. I personally think Manchester is a great place to live (increasinly vibrant) and down in Cheshire if you want something a little quieter and 'posher'....such a bag of opportunities to someone in your position mate.
Good luck and keep us posted.
 

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