Hi mate, sorry you're down, here to help and lend an ear.
As others have suggested, I think you need to get all the weight of stress off your chest and quell your demons with professional counselling. Just been reading back a PMs between us in 2013(after you had it shite) and I can see this is a particularly raw time of year for you. Seems to me like you have underlying problems you cannot shift. I have myself and appreciate help and advice other have offered.
Here's an offer. You say you have no social life. Tell you what I'll meet you for a few scoops. If I can't cheer you up and get you laughing I'll pay for all your drinks. Blind drunk I don't do anymore, I'm not going there, horrible desolate place I once frequented too often.... Merry drunk is fine amongst friends and laughter socially: )
I'm here to help mate, others are too. Please don't suffer alone.