The "let's talk" thread

[Blue Bogey]

I first got depression at 19 it crept up on me without me being aware. It was only after a few work colleagues individually were coming up to me asking if I was ok, that I wondered why everyone was asking me the same question. I paused and thought about it and realised mentally I felt different. I made an appointment to see my GP. He told me I had depression, which I accepted but thought Ffs how do I get rid of this. He told me to do more activities, which normally would not have been a problem but at that time I could barely go outside the house I became a little paranoid that everyone was looking at me.
I told a mate who visited and his Gf who I did not like at that time but her reaction pleasantly surprised me and boosted my confidence to talk about my depression.
I realised that the depression was not down to one thing but a number of things that were irritating me and I had not done anything about them. Some I could not change, what had been done, had been done, and there was nothing I could do to change that. There were a few that I could change and I made a list with determined effort to tick each one off. Each time I did, I felt better each time. Eventually I found an equilibrium of my state of mind.

I also accept that my personality type makes me prone to these depressive attacks, so I try to identify those times when depression may consume me again and try to head it off.

I did have a relapse about 6 years later which left me feeling very isolated and there were certain places I needed to go but could not, as I had panic attacks whenever I did. I put that down to the fact that it was a stressful time and I was in an environment where I had met new people and I could not speak to them as they were part of the cause of my stress. I should have confronted them but I chose to ignore instead.

 

[peoffrey]

Hi Peoffrey,

What is causing you this stress or is it that bit of depression where it is ambiguous with you being incappable of pinning it down to xyz?

I suggest do something you can look forward to like planning a meal you have never cooked before, research it, buy the ingredients and spend the afternoon pottering around the kitchen. I like to download something to watch when i am prepping as i tend to drink a bottle of red when i do, in fact i make sure i do hehe. Maybe call a mate and you both keep the line open even if no chatting is going on for a bit. I used to do that often on skype with my pals who lived all over the shop.

For myself i am going to buy a tray of sausage meat, break it up and add Italian herbs, pan fry it a bit and make a nice pasta. All the while i'll be smoking a chicken on the bbq. It keeps you busy and you have something to look forward to at the end of the day.

Other things that can help, move your post out of site, we tend to attribute negative things to the post, bills etc. The old "make your bed" does work a bit to i find, it sets the mind into a purposeful state.

Stay strong mate and seriously look at a bit of cooking, it does not have to be high end stuff, i find peasant foods the best, making your own burgers etc. I love a burger and the best bit is it's pretty cheap. Everyone wants this 5% fat crap now so there is always a tray of 20% mince (well, usually) available, you need that for a good burger, 15% will do or even 12 but 20 is best.

I think it’s family issues, legal action taken against us with a property matter (we won but it dragged on and on), working in a glorified call centre and living in a volatile London has just got to me. I thought I’d taken it all in my stride but I’ve been crap all year and it’s finally broken me. I also turned 40 in January which made me think I’m getting old!

I’ve few good friends in London. My lot in Wales and Manchester are truly exceptional people who always cheer me up - but Londoners are just cold and indifferent. Anyone who has tried chatting to people in pubs here will concur. I didn’t want to come back here either. I had to for the house matters. My mum needed my help.

I’m taking each day as it comes but literally want nothing more than the sofa and daytime television at the moment. I had a bad spell when I was 25 but this is something else. It really is.

 

[PannickAtTheDisco]

It's hard, isn't it? Even if I label everything first world, white male privilege problems for the Greta good and tell myself I can't imagine what less fortunate people are going through doesn't make it any more bearable.

Keep calm, carry on, we'll get through this! Woo! Yay! Yeah...

 

[Ric]

As good a time as any to bump this thread. Mental health is as important as physical health, and I imagine many are struggling right now. Speak to someone if things are getting too much. It probably sounds a bit trite, but I’m always available to chat via PM on here, and I’m sure many others are. Don’t bottle things up.

 

[kaz7]

Things happen for a reason i reckon

Me ,the hermit ,decided what the hell i will accept 3 invites to 3 city games,i had barely been out of my door for a decade,my friends on here invited me,dared me when i first said not a chance,held my hand on the journeys and held me up on the day

I got to see us lifting the prem at brighton in may

I got to go to manchester to see vinny off

I got to see dave lift his first cup for us at wembly,we will never see dave in blue again

I have lots of new friends,i was transported back to my youth,when i walked out into the stadiums i felt at home,back with my boys

Thank you all of you

Now i might get to another game or this shitty virus might kill me off

If i don't i had the best time,it made an oldie very happy,i never. thought i could do anything like that again

I have met so many lovely blues

You know who are

Thank you xx

 

[Ban-jani]

@karen7 are you still suffering with Coronavirus?

 

[kaz7]

@karen7 are you still suffering with Coronavirus?

I have been emotional today,it is sinking in what a big deal it is

 

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

I have been emotional today,it is sinking in what a big deal it is

People are not really considering the emotional effects that this global pandemic will have on the general population, let alone the front line health workers and emergency services (and no doubt the military when they get pulled in to all this).

It's going to be really difficult for a lot of people, and isolation won't be helping. We just have to look out for each other, and stay safe.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

I dont usually reveal on on here

I have C.O.P.D. and Diabetes with reduced lung capacity due to Anti-Syntase Syndrome.

I have just done the hardest thing I`ve ever done.

I have sat down and wrote 3 goodbye letters just in case I catch this Covid19 virus and dont survive. I know it sounds dramatic but if I get it I most probably wont be here to tell my wife and grown up son an daughter how much I love them and how proud I am of them.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

I dont usually reveal on on here

I have C.O.P.D. and Diabetes with reduced lung capacity due to Anti-Syntase Syndrome.

I have just done the hardest thing I`ve ever done.

I have sat down and wrote 3 goodbye letters just in case I catch this Covid19 virus and dont survive. I know it sounds dramatic but if I get it I most probably wont be here to tell my wife and grown up son an daughter how much I love them and how proud I am of them.

Has anyone else had thoughts of doing this.
or am I over reacting

 

[Ric]

I dont usually reveal on on here

I have C.O.P.D. and Diabetes with reduced lung capacity due to Anti-Syntase Syndrome.

I have just done the hardest thing I`ve ever done.

I have sat down and wrote 3 goodbye letters just in case I catch this Covid19 virus and dont survive. I know it sounds dramatic but if I get it I most probably wont be here to tell my wife and grown up son an daughter how much I love them and how proud I am of them.

Shit, that must’ve been tough to write (the letters, rather than this post, I mean). Fair play for sharing, brings the grim reality home. Stay safe mate.

 

[kaz7]

I dont usually reveal on on here

I have C.O.P.D. and Diabetes with reduced lung capacity due to Anti-Syntase Syndrome.

I have just done the hardest thing I`ve ever done.

I have sat down and wrote 3 goodbye letters just in case I catch this Covid19 virus and dont survive. I know it sounds dramatic but if I get it I most probably wont be here to tell my wife and grown up son an daughter how much I love them and how proud I am of them.

thanks for sharing,it is a scary time,it doesn't sound dramatic to me,if it puts your heart at rest i don't see a problem,now they are done then forget them and put al your effort into staying well,stay safe x

 

[Ric]

Has anyone else had thoughts of doing this.
or am I over reacting

No, not at all mate.

 

[davek1808]

Has anyone else had thoughts of doing this.
or am I over reacting

I've thought about it but to be honest with you I wouldn't know where to start, I've 2 young children and a 3rd from a previous relationship who's grown up now, I mean what do you say to a 3 and 7 year old?

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Shit, that must’ve been tough to write (the letters, rather than this post, I mean). Fair play for sharing, brings the grim reality home. Stay safe mate.

I think there are quite a lot of this forum in a similar position to me unfortunately.

 

[kaz7]

People are not really considering the emotional effects that this global pandemic will have on the general population, let alone the front line health workers and emergency services (and no doubt the military when they get pulled in to all this).

It's going to be really difficult for a lot of people, and isolation won't be helping. We just have to look out for each other, and stay safe.

i have a bit of surviors guilt tonite,shed a good few tears today

 

[Ric]

I've thought about it but to be honest with you I wouldn't know where to start, I've 2 young children and a 3rd from a previous relationship who's grown up now, I mean what do you say to a 3 and 7 year old?

Incredibly tough, but I guess you just tell them how much you love them and try to temper the terrible grief they would be dealing with. I’m in no way religious, but at that age I would definitely be going along with the heaven line and telling them you’ll always be watching over them.

 

[davek1808]

i have a bit of surviors guilt tonite,shed a good few tears today

Stay strong from what I've read on here you've helped a lot of people with you're advice about this terrible virus.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

Shit, that must’ve been tough to write (the letters, rather than this post, I mean). Fair play for sharing, brings the grim reality home. Stay safe mate.

I think there are quite a lot of this forum in a similar position to me unfortunately. Thanks Ric

I've thought about it but to be honest with you I wouldn't know where to start, I've 2 young children and a 3rd from a previous relationship who's grown up now, I mean what do you say to a 3 and 7 year old?

I have a granddaughter and 2 grandsons the eldest being 3. Obviously I think the world of them and was thinking of leaving them money for their 21st with a letter saying how much joys they brought me.

 

[Ric]

I think there are quite a lot of this forum in a similar position to me unfortunately.

Yes, sadly you’re right. Unfortunately my parents are in a similar position (although my dad, with Alzheimer’s, is completely oblivious to it all, of course). Christ. This is so fucking depressing and scary.