The "let's talk" thread

Discussion in 'Off Topic' started by Bill, 14 Nov 2019.

  1. Nebuchadnezzar

    Nebuchadnezzar

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    You already knew what to do when you wrote the post, go on and do it....

    Top bloke, good post.
     
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  2. BlueMoonRisin'

    BlueMoonRisin'

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    I really don't know what to do. I'm off work today but she's working. I definitely think I need to tell her how I feel but she's moved on. Whether she's happy being with him I don't know. My girls tell me their mum and him live almost separate lives suggesting she's not happy. I really don't know what to do.
     
  3. willipp

    willipp

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    You said you have few regrets in life, don’t let this be one of them. It will haunt you for a long time if you don’t. Good luck pal and I wish you nothing but happiness, sounds like you really deserve it.
     
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  4. gordondaviesmoustache

    gordondaviesmoustache

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    Of course you should fucking tell her.
     
  5. journolud

    journolud

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    There's a school of thought that says you should just grab the bull by the horns and go for it but I don't think its right as you risk an emotional ambush and in that circumstance she is unlikely to throw her arms around you in joy. Spend today writing what you want to say to her, arrange to meet, make it one of your regular meetings if you have them, be humble and tell her you've been thinking a lot about things and there are things long past the time they should have been said. Give her your written work and skidaddle, make it clear that you realise the chance may have gone and be prepared yourself for rejection but above all else give her time to take it in without you being there pushing for an answer.

    Good luck mate, as others have said life is way too short. Don't forget the third person in this, a cad he may be but they have forged a relationship over the years, for good or bad, and he gave her something you weren't at the time. For all you know though if they have run their course you might be doing them both a favour.
     
  6. BlueMoonRisin'

    BlueMoonRisin'

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    Just like to say I really appreciate your replies guys, especially yours mate as you've taken time to give some sound advice. Thanks: )

    I've only told my best mate quite recently how I feel and he said very similar to what you say. He said I should text her saying how attractive she is and how I still feel about her.

    Easier sad than done, and grabbing a bull by it's horns should be easy, as I'm a Taurean, full of bullshit and stubborn. But honesty is one of my better traits.

    I don't really have much time to talk to her face to face as I'm either dropping my youngest off home or she's picking her up from mine. I told her quite recently that I have plenty of photo albums of our two when youngsters. Plus a the family photo albums of holidays and good times. I offered she came round on s Monday when she's free as she doesn't work on a Monday. She said she was interested in coming round and looking at the albums and having a chat. She was supposed to come round to mine a few weeks ago but cancelled due to something or other.

    Thing is my mind is full of lust and being a bloke I'd soon be wanting to get her in bed. And I don't want to be in a situation she doesn't want to be in. I don't think I'm besotted by her on the surface but my subconscious may be in dreams ? All I know is that deep down I truly love her and will never love another woman the same. Great lustful sex I've had a plenty with plenty tbh, but I've only ever made love to my ex wife. Our lovelife was always good, fantastic at times. We still have a lot in common and still make each other laugh.

    Several people have told me they can't understand what she sees in her hubby. He seems a decent hard working guy to me, although my girls have little time for him.

    My eldest is 23 now, just split from a 5 year relationship with her fella. It looked like they were going to get engaged soon and I have been thinking if she gets wed, either he won't be there or I won't. My daughter has said she doesn't want him at her wedding, but he's her stepfather. The pain and suffering I've had to endure from that bastard fucking up my marriage up, I think I'd go for his throat if I saw him in the gents. And I don't want to do that but I cannot stifle how I feel.

    I like to listen to music and music has helped me over the years. This song sums up where I'm at now.


    These feelings locked inside my head, I try to reason out of bed

    These feelings locked inside of me
    Will never see the light of day
    Slowly upwards faster down
    Reach the top and hit the ground

    So many things we left unsaid
    So many feelings left for dead
    A love affair like this could last
    I take a trip back through the past
    It tears my heart out deep inside
    To think of times I spent inside

    The pleasure and the pain
    It tells me that I'll make love again

    Take a look deep in my eyes
    See the emptiness inside
    See where forest fires rage
    In vain I try to turn the page
    But nothing that I say or do
    Will ever make me forget you

    The pleasure and the pain
    It tells me that I'll make love again
     
    Last edited: 10 Dec 2019
  7. somapop

    somapop

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    Indeed....whatever the outcome it's far worse not let her know and keep those 'what ifs' buzzing around your head. They just snowball....out in the open: done.
    Good luck mate.
     
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  8. gavvo

    gavvo

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    Best thread ever on BM. Hurts to read what we go through. Love and best wishes to all.
     
  9. peoffrey

    peoffrey

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    I’m literally looking at a blank piece of paper for 2020. I had to relocate to London for personal reasons in 2018 and the circumstances that brought me down here are now over. All I know is I want out of London. I’ve also now got enough money to buy myself an affordable flat or house somewhere outside of the South East. I’ve just no idea where to go. I have a job in a nice organisation but it’s not the be all and end all. I have good transferable skills so I don’t fear unemployment. I’m always in work.

    I visit Swansea for a weekend in February, Cardiff in March and need to squeeze Liverpool and Manchester in together at some point. All four of those places are viable options - plus maybe anywhere else?! I’m 40 next birthday, have hardly any family and can settle somewhere biggish with things to do and good transport.

    I’m an absolute mongrel so I don’t really have roots anywhere. I literally have no clue what to do.
     
  10. karen7

    karen7

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    @BlueMoonRisin' don't text her and for the love of god don't try and jump her,you know i have your back on this
     

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