Joke thread

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

What's wrong with that?
I used to work round the corner from Kengals, where they sold cangles in bockles, to put on yer mankulpiece.

Are you from 'Apper'ay, crazy? I'm from Blackley and we often went to the shop for a 'bockle' of mineral!

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

Agreed. The best i culd mannij were "O" level inglish langwij and "A" level maffs and furver maffs.
;-)

The English teacher says to little Johnny- I told you to write this sentence 10 times to improve your handwriting but you've only written it 9 times.

Little Johnny replies, yeah but I'm shit at maths too.

 

[crazyg]

Are you from 'Apper'ay, crazy? I'm from Blackley and we often went to the shop for a 'bockle' of mineral!

Ashton, born bred and buttered. But my mum used to say bockle.

 

[Barcon]

Oh, and just for the record, it's "snake and pygmy".

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Oh, and just for the record, it's "snake and pygmy".

I'd always known it as Kate and Sidney

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

Please can someone explain this joke.

Euros.
Think about it.

 

[Blue Mist]

Euros.
Think about it.

What like England v Spain?

 

[crazyg]

What like England v Spain?

Le cheval est mort.

 

[mancity2012_eamo]

What like England v Spain?

No. He came on his bike.

 

[Mid Wales blue]

I'd always known it as Kate and Sidney

What’s that got to do with the joke, about Howard and Marina’s bicycles, being outside a chip shop?

 

[Uwe Already]

Oh, and just for the record, it's "snake and pygmy".

As in “snake and pygmy python”?

 

[ysmsa]

A bloke goes into a chippy and asks for steak and kidney pie and chips.
The woman serving says "sorry, we've only got cheese and onion pies."
"That's alright," says the bloke, "I've got my bike outside."

I find this funny on the back of the steak and kidley joke but do not get it, please explain

 

[Blue Mist]

I find this funny on the back of the steak and kidley joke but do not get it, please explain

He wanted a steak and kidney pie, he didn't want cheese and onion.

 

[Marklr]

A bloke goes into a chippy and asks for steak and kidney pie and chips.
The woman serving says "sorry, we've only got cheese and onion pies."
"That's alright," says the bloke, "I've got my bike outside."

haha...like it.

 

[Cellarite]

I find this funny on the back of the steak and kidley joke but do not get it, please explain

Oi! It was my joke, not Alan Harper’s Tash!

 

[nw42]

Oi! It was my joke, not Alan Harper’s Tash!

I think it was Dougie Brown's joke, circa 1973 on The Comedians.

 

[Barcon]

I think it was Dougie Brown's joke, circa 1973 on The Comedians.

No wonder I've never heard of him.

 

[ysmsa]

haha...like it.

Show off!

 

[Marklr]

Show off!

nah, mate...i don't get it....im just a bit stoned and it made me giggle.

 

[prestonibbo_mcfc]

View attachment 38723

That's really tickled me. Crying with laughter. Think it's the Koala's face.