Joke thread

[DrBlueBob]

Iv been told that my grammar is very poor, but I don’t believe them.

Only last week she gave me £20

It took me a few tries, but I finally got there.

 

[blue44]

 

[hammocity]

Two aerials on the same roof fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't up to much but the reception was excellent.

The original joke was “two Sky engineers fell in love and got married”.

 

[hammocity]

Using the aerial was Rod Hull if memory serves me correctly.

He was trying to tune his aerial to watch his Rag football match, how sad.

 

[hammocity]

A bloke came up to me and said “Are those thick lens glasses you’re wearing?..I said “ no they’re mine.

A pupil approached his Geography Teacher and said “Sir can you tell me where Pakistan is?” The Teacher replied “he’s in the playground with Indian Pete”.

 

[A57 the snake]

Two flies one a piece of dog poo one fly said to the other ‘ I’ve seen not you for a while ?
The other fly replied I know I’ve been on the sick !!

 

[kippaxneil]

This last couple of days, I've been getting strange telephone calls from a guy who keeps shouting 'Stand and Deliver!'.
I always tell him he's got the wrong number but he's adamant.

 

[citizen_maine]

Two flies one a piece of dog poo one fly said to the other ‘ I’ve seen not you for a while ?
The other fly replied I know I’ve been on the sick !!

Is the first fly Yoda?

 

[blue wang]

This last couple of days, I've been getting strange telephone calls from a guy who keeps shouting 'Stand and Deliver!'.
I always tell him he's got the wrong number but he's adamant.

Huh?

 

[Citizen of Legoland]

Huh?

What is it good for?

Oh, wrong song.

 

[TinFoilHat]

Huh?

Prince charming.

Ridicule is nothing to be scared of.

 

[ray21]

.

 

[john blue]

HAHA!! Brilliant!

ha ha ha , do for me tommy . !

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Huh?

Adamant make toilets...rumour has it Adam Ant took his name from said porcelain recepticles

 

[BimboBob]

Adamant make toilets...rumour has it Adam Ant took his name from said porcelain recepticles

Nothing to do with the joke...

Adam (Stuart Goddard) had loads of hits in the early 80's with his ants. Stand and Deliver was one of them.

Adamant means to be unwilling to change an opinion.

 

[Lavinda Past]

Nothing to do with the joke...

Adam (Stuart Goddard) had loads of hits in the early 80's with his ants. Stand and Deliver was one of them.

Adamant means to be unwilling to change an opinion.

Peter Wyngard played Adam Adamant.

I don't know what he played him at, but I think he may have won.

 

[hammocity]

Peter Wyngard played Adam Adamant.

I don't know what he played him at, but I think he may have won.

The joke going back in the day was Adam Ant died, donated his vital organs and left everything to to Hilda Ogden’s husband,Stan, out of Coronation Street, the lyrics were changed to to”

“Stan’s got your Liver, your money and your wife”.

Don’t shoot the messenger.

 

[blue44]

 

[Indaparkside]

My girlfriend dumped me so I stole her wheelchair
She soon came crawling back

 

[Indaparkside]

I fucked the wife in the hospital lift yesterday
It was so wrong on many levels