blue44
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- Joined
- 20 Jun 2009
- Messages
- 10,461
- Location
- Ashton-u-lyne,Manchester.
- Team supported
- St Marks West Gorton
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
dickie davies
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My doctor wrote me a prescription for daily sex.
But my wife insists it says dyslexia.
But my wife insists it says dyslexia.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A guy and his wife are sleeping one night when the wife wakes up in a panic...
Husband worried, asks "what's the problem?"
Wife says, "I just had this weird dream about Christmas trees. There were fields of them. Each one was decorated in penises. There were big ones, small ones, thin ones, thick ones. And on the top of each tree, there was the perfect penis from God."
Husband laughs "must have been mine."
Wife says "no, it was Tom Hardy's'"
They both fall back asleep for a few hours. Then the husband wakes up suddenly. Wife asks what's wrong.
"Now I've had a dream about Christmas trees. They were everywhere. Each one was decorated with pussies. There were tight ones, loose ones, hairy ones, bald ones. And on the top of every tree was one made by God himself"
Wife laughs "must have been mine huh."
Husband looks at her and says "No, Yours was the one holding up all of the Christmas trees"
Husband worried, asks "what's the problem?"
Wife says, "I just had this weird dream about Christmas trees. There were fields of them. Each one was decorated in penises. There were big ones, small ones, thin ones, thick ones. And on the top of each tree, there was the perfect penis from God."
Husband laughs "must have been mine."
Wife says "no, it was Tom Hardy's'"
They both fall back asleep for a few hours. Then the husband wakes up suddenly. Wife asks what's wrong.
"Now I've had a dream about Christmas trees. They were everywhere. Each one was decorated with pussies. There were tight ones, loose ones, hairy ones, bald ones. And on the top of every tree was one made by God himself"
Wife laughs "must have been mine huh."
Husband looks at her and says "No, Yours was the one holding up all of the Christmas trees"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Avoid driving around Old Trafford
Everyone's getting 3 points
Everyone's getting 3 points
Hmm … a bit close to home
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I was going to say that the area did extend into Manchester but thought that was a bit too soon...
;-)
Alan Harper's Tash
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- Joined
- 12 Dec 2010
- Messages
- 69,777
bluemoon32
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- Joined
- 2 Jan 2009
- Messages
- 27,235
- Team supported
- City
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Stoke guy breaking up with his girlfriend.
“We can still remain cousins, can’t we?”
“We can still remain cousins, can’t we?”
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
Bigg Bigg Blue
Well-Known Member
dobingsdobber
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- Joined
- 19 Oct 2010
- Messages
- 3,432
Ruined my Christmas that has.
What the heck is that purple ball thing (top left)
Sheriff Fatman
Well-Known Member
His head?
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A blonde is overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.
“Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods…
“I’ll tell you, I'd thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.
“I want you to eat regularly for two days, then skip a day, and repeat the procedure for two weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least five pounds.”
When the blonde returns, she’s lost nearly 20 pounds.
“Wow, that’s amazing!” the doctor says.
“Did you follow my instructions?”
The blonde nods…
“I’ll tell you, I'd thought I was going to drop dead that third day."
“From hunger, you mean?” said the doctor.
“No, from skipping,” replied the blonde.