Alcohol, hints, tips, advice etc.

N1985 said:
Checking in on Day 1817.

Life gets super busy when you're sober. People actually ask you for stuff and rely on you because you're sober and present. Fancy that! Even after all this time my head plays tricks on me, telling me I wasn't an alcoholic because I've gone a long while without a drink. Then I quickly remind said head of the lies, destruction and chaos my drinking caused, and it shuts the fuck up. I spent so much energy hiding my addiction by the end I was sick and tired of being sick and tired. Plus my partner deserved honesty. Not futile hope that I'm going to get better and certainly not the illusion that I am getting better. I used to think being an addict was the worst thing in the world, realising I was an addict was the best thing in the world. All about acceptance.
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Almost 5 years. That's a tremendous achievement.
Well done!
 
bluegirl74 said:
I've agreed to go on a meet up of a Facebook group for sober people this weekend.
I'm a bit nervous but I'm 90% sure I'm definitely going. I'm not too good at walking into a crowd of strangers without a drink to steady the nerves but I'm going to give it a go.
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Just go for it. Nothing to lose and everything to gain. Try not to overthink it and have fun!

whenever I’m a bit anxious I try to think of that Troy hawke and Say to myself “shoulders back and smash it”.
 
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Crooked_rain said:
A problem is the media will encourage people to play the clown and people will like them momentarily because they seem like a bit of a lad and just you see a human and normal element, see that they're just young lads enjoying themselves

But what the media really want to is there to be a problem down the line and then they can absolutely slaughter you and bring you down. They want to build you up and then steer you right into a car crash because what they really want to report on is the aftermath.

When I think that's partly of the media glorifying certain behaviour and people early on. Look at Gazza, obviously he's done things that didn't help himself but I think part of the way ended up is also down the media, they build you and destroy you. You could say the same for young people like Amy Winehouse, young people with a problem that maybe could have dealt with their problems better without the media hounding them every day.

Obviously Jack Grealish is not in that category and he just does seem like that he enjoys himself when it's the moment to do so but you have to be careful in these situations because you don't want to end up playing the character that the media want you to play because life seems good, and then it blurs the line between who you're really are and who you are perceived to be and you end up becoming that and that's when the problem starts.

I won't do a name drop but through a mutual friend got to know a famous/infamous musician with an infamous heroin and crack addiction that was in a relationship with a world famous model, probably not too hard to work out who l...but for quite a long time he never truly come to terms with his addiction because he was basically the "cool" poster boy of that music scene/era, he had critical acclaim as a musician and he was shagging a super model and adored by fans. All this was completely glorified by the media, so why would he wanna change? Life must seem good when you are in your 20s and laid in bed with a famous model, and youre not gonna take notice of peole saying you need to change. The perception of a heroin addict is some skinny lad wandering around the streets like a zombie scraping some money together. But he had all this going for him, and glorified by fans and media.

Because of that, it probably took him years to fully acknowledge he's just a man with a crippling drug addiction. It wasn't really until he was no longer big news that he started to really try to seek recovery. Obviously all these people have personal responsibility and make their own choices, but you wonder without the British press if they might have addressed their issues earlier, or still be alive in the case of Amy Winehouse.

But like i said, the media want the car crash, that's what sells. They're never gonna take a step back and suggest these people seek help.

Young famous people like Grealish need to understand that's the kind of people they're dealing with and the media is not your friend at all. You dont wanna become the character they're building you up to be, that's not the end destination for the media, the downfall is.
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Really interesting post. On a much lesser level I've seen this in social circles, I've certainly seen (and been?) a chap that enjoys a party, only to be looked down on later by those that encouraged me. I have never been famous or into heroin though. Did know a lad who was celebrated for his ability to party......but when he got into heroin, nobody wanted to know.

Editing because you actually brought back a memory. My social group over here meets every Christmas for a dinner, and two had already headed to the restaurant early. I propped up a bar with two other lads where we drank the exact same amount of pints, it was 3 strong craft beers. When we got to the restaurant, slightly late, the man and woman couple in our group really made a fucking meal out of it and when we were ordering drinks insisted I got water, despite the fact I honestly wasn't behaving any differently from the other two lads. As though I was to blame for them being late and a bit drunk.

With hindsight I'm grateful but on the night I was fucking furious. Ate my dinner, got up, paid and left before they all did. Then got outside and burst into tears in anger and shame.
 
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I’m 100% sober during the week now and, like last Friday, I’m going to stay in again. I feel so much better both physically and mentally.

How many of us know that our usual safe limit is now just 14 units per week? That’s about 7 pints of regular strength beer. When I was in hospital last year, I was grilled by medical people about it and I was well over each week.

Having a huge health scare at just 42 frightened me in to making significant changes. If I can get down to (and even below) my recommended allowance then I think I’ve done well.
 
Onholiday(somemightsay) said:
Potentially a bit of a head scratcher for a morning but what have you found that fills the void?

Or did you effectively discover that there wasn't a void to fill..........
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Catching up on the posts I've missed the last few days.

The "void" for me wasn't actually much of a void. If anything, when I was drinking I never felt that I had time to do anything. I was always either working or busy somehow. Or sleeping. I didn't really realise how much time drinking took up. The other half used to complain all the time that I was always rushing and never had any time to relax. It didn't help that we didn't live together so I was also trying to fit in time to travel to see him.

Now that I don't drink, and I don't need a lie in at the weekends, I'm actually just making better use of my time. Boring I know, but I now use my weekday evenings for stuff round the house and cooking or whatever, and the weekends are free to see friends or long walks or exercise.
 
MCFC Wirral said:
I’m 100% sober during the week now and, like last Friday, I’m going to stay in again. I feel so much better both physically and mentally.

How many of us know that our usual safe limit is now just 14 units per week? That’s about 7 pints of regular strength beer. When I was in hospital last year, I was grilled by medical people about it and I was well over each week.

Having a huge health scare at just 42 frightened me in to making significant changes. If I can get down to (and even below) my recommended allowance then I think I’ve done well.
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What happened mate? Well done for making a conscious change, takes a lot of courage and discipline to do that.
 
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