I, actually, agree with you with it being 'hardwired' into most men's brains. My own mother was subject to such actions and I terrorised men for a long time afterwards. my own daughters have been through situations and they have told me to stand down when I want rip throats out! I hated every minute of those feelings of them not wanting me to protect them, but I respected their own decisions on things.
Most of TODAY'S women do not seem to want such protection and, therefore, today's man has to respect the reason they choose the job they enter, especially jobs with possible conflict.
It's not great. It's tough to reconcile with. But you HAVE to respect it.