Best Alan Partridge Quotes

[Holden Balls]

'Lynn, you couldnt present a cat'

 

[davymcfc]

you haven't got a spoon?

 

[BlueMooner87]

alan standing at door of caravan with sonia and lynn

'guess which one of you two ladies i am going to make love with now, come on sonia lets be appauling'

 

[lostmyhouseski]

"would you like me to lapdance"

"i have 2 points"

 

[ConnorMCFC]

Certainly enough room to swing a tiger in here isn't there? Wouldn't want to though - unless it'd been stunned. Even then it's going to weigh the best part of a tonne

 

[Mike N]

Certainly enough room to swing a tiger in here isn't there? Wouldn't want to though - unless it'd been stunned. Even then it's going to weigh the best part of a tonne

How funny is that? You can just see his face thinking it through as he's saying it. Comic genius.

 

[mcfc_ms]

Cock piss partridge

 

[ono]

Alan: You could certainly swing a cat in here

Estate Agent: You could swing a lion in here...

Alan: Yeah...wouldn't want to though...unless it was stunned, and even then it would weigh the best part of a tonne.

 

[ono]

'i know the anniversary of a dead loved one is a tough one, but i am up against it with this James Bond schedule, so if you can keep mourning to no longer 'dan ten minuuts'

 

[foxy]

Not a quote but when Alan attended the funeral he wore a black jacket and when he turned round it had "Castrol GTX" on the back lol!!!!!