Do you believe in hitting kids?

[LittleStan]

It's not about anger, I'm a very calm person but I have lightly slapped my daughter on the hand after she continually bit me. I've told her not to bite, I've verbally chastised her, raised my voice, but she carried on... sometimes you have to have that next option. It has worked by the way, she knows now that biting is wrong and has consequences. I'd be interested to hear (genuinely) how you would have dealt with this problem.

By the way, don't say "end" as if your opinion is the only one, it's childish in itself. Adults can and do disagree on this subject.

I have had this problem when my little girl bit my son. We (Mrs Stan and me) pointed out how upset he was and that the consequences of hurting somebody was upsetting them. It worked.

You also made the point about being adults (this is not aimed at you BTW but you gave me the lead in).

We are the adults, they are the inexperienced children with limited knowledge. They need to learn and do so solely from their parents / carers in the first few years.

We can teach them discipline, respect and show them how to learn, but only if we know that ourselves.

A few people on the thread have misunderstood discipline for violence.

 

[Pigeonho]

I have a one year old daughter, i cant ever imagine hitting her and i know i never will

That's because she is one. The title is so misleading anyway it's untrue. Hitting is completely different to disciplining. If someone keys my car i'll go out and hit them. If one of my kids goes and does something naughty, i'll slap them on the back of the legs so they know it's wrong. Not so much anymore like as they are 13 and 10, but between they ages of 4 and 8, for example, discipline that way can be needed. With your daughter being one though you won't see that, yet.

 

[LittleStan]

I have a one year old daughter, i cant ever imagine hitting her and i know i never will

One day you will consider it because at times she will be a little woman at times. But hopefully you will not because you are an adult who understands that using violence will teach her that violence is acceptable

 

[GStar]

It's not about anger, I'm a very calm person but I have lightly slapped my daughter on the hand after she continually bit me. I've told her not to bite, I've verbally chastised her, raised my voice, but she carried on... sometimes you have to have that next option. It has worked by the way, she knows now that biting is wrong and has consequences. I'd be interested to hear (genuinely) how you would have dealt with this problem.

By the way, don't say "end" as if your opinion is the only one, it's childish in itself. Adults can and do disagree on this subject.

I have had this problem when my little girl bit my son. We (Mrs Stan and me) pointed out how upset he was and that the consequences of hurting somebody was upsetting them. It worked.

You also made the point about being adults (this is not aimed at you BTW but you gave me the lead in).

We are the adults, they are the inexperienced children with limited knowledge. They need to learn and do so solely from their parents / carers in the first few years.

We can teach them discipline, respect and show them how to learn, but only if we know that ourselves.

A few people on the thread have misunderstood discipline for violence.

Two decent posts. The last line being a poignant one - although on second read, i'm not sure that's what the poster meant.

Kids don't have the understanding of the world that developed adults do. Sit down and have a reasoned conversation with a child may not work, they might not take it in, understand the concepts or consequences.

Bad action = unpleasent consequence = worng = don't do it again.

There's been plenty of generations brought up that way.

 

[SWP's back]

I have a one year old daughter, i cant ever imagine hitting her and i know i never will

One day you will consider it because at times she will be a little woman at times. But hopefully you will not because you are an adult who understands that using violence will teach her that violence is acceptable

Amazing how it's worked for 250,000 years with many problems.

Any causation between increased lack of adolescent discipline and decrease in smacking?

 

[LittleStan]

Two decent posts. The last line being a poignant one - although on second read, i'm not sure that's what the poster meant.

Kids don't have the understanding of the world that developed adults do. Sit down and have a reasoned conversation with a child may not work, they might not take it in, understand the concepts or consequences.

Bad action = unpleasent consequence = worng = don't do it again.

There's been plenty of generations brought up that way.

I did not suggest that sitting down and having a reasoned argument will work. Try it with a 5 year old and all you get is " look a a bird". I am a reasonable adult and know that different techniques have to be used in different circumstances.

Bad action = unpleasent consequence = worng = don't do it again.

I agree with this, I just don't agree that the unpleasant consequence has to be violence.

-- Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:16 am --

Any causation between increased lack of adolescent discipline and decrease in smacking?

I have not real evidence, I don't think you do either, on what has caused the increased lack of discipline (respect is missing as well).

It could be the decrease in smacking but it could also be the decrease in discipline throughout their lives, as I said earlier, discipline and violence are not the same thing.

 

[pominoz]

That's a very general title.

I'm 25, when i was growing up, i think it was still common practise/widely accepted. The only reason i'd be against it, is the amount of kids, having kids, who don't understand why they would be using that discipline technique and can't control themselves appropriately.

"Discipline technique"? It's assault.

Right-o.

Legal definition of assault...

"At Common Law, an intentional act by one person that creates an apprehension in another of an imminent harmful or offensive contact."

 

[GStar]

Two decent posts. The last line being a poignant one - although on second read, i'm not sure that's what the poster meant.

Kids don't have the understanding of the world that developed adults do. Sit down and have a reasoned conversation with a child may not work, they might not take it in, understand the concepts or consequences.

Bad action = unpleasent consequence = worng = don't do it again.

There's been plenty of generations brought up that way.

I did not suggest that sitting down and having a reasoned argument will work. Try it with a 5 year old and all you get is " look a a bird". I am a reasonable adult and know that different techniques have to be used in different circumstances.

Bad action = unpleasent consequence = worng = don't do it again.

I agree with this, I just don't agree that the unpleasant consequence has to be violence.

-- Fri Jun 22, 2012 10:16 am --

Any causation between increased lack of adolescent discipline and decrease in smacking?

I have not real evidence, I don't think you do either, on what has caused the increased lack of discipline (respect is missing as well).

It could be the decrease in smacking but it could also be the decrease in discipline throughout their lives, as I said earlier, discipline and violence are not the same thing.

Violence hyperboles the action and gives negative conotations of long term physical after effects.

Discipline and 'violence' have been used legitimately for long periods of time, and not just by parents, teachers, family friends etc

You've admitted that you can't treat a kid like an adult, they're not developed enough at that stage. As i see it, smacking, is a much more primative (it apeals and works on thier level), if you like, way which can help establish not only right and wrong but authority too.

The thought that smacking children leads to blurred lines between what is right and wrong and the acceptability of more extreme violence i think is absolute bobbins.

As you develop and mature you should come to understand the reasoning behind the actions. Of course there's a fine line and i'm not sure when i become a parent whether i'd choose to disipline my kids that way (or even be legally allowed to) but i understand and agree with why it has been used.

Should also add that smacking should not be used used as a first line, it should be when alternatives have not worked/last resort.

 

[Damocles]

I have a one year old daughter, i cant ever imagine hitting her and i know i never will

One day you will consider it because at times she will be a little woman at times. But hopefully you will not because you are an adult who understands that using violence will teach her that violence is acceptable

Amazing how it's worked for 250,000 years with many problems.

Any causation between increased lack of adolescent discipline and decrease in smacking?

Whilst I have nothing to add to the discussion, I'd just like to point out that you can use this argument against any form of civilisation.

 

[bernabias home shirt]

Bit of a tip for folk who ever think of adopting or fostering children..

The question of hitting children will come up and when the ops question is put to you ...have a think about the answer..

If you say the wrong answer you will be struck off for life!!