Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

Some funny stories out there, however

I was Best man at a mates wedding, his partner thought the world of me,until I sleepwalked couldn't find the bathroom and pissed on both the Bride and groom after they ended up sleeping on their new bed sofa which was purchased for me, to sleep on for my extended stay.

Another time, Slept walked, got undressed on a Saturday night to go to work!!? got found pissing outside in the pissing rain. Stark bollock naked apart from me Rolex watch.

Had to stand outside the flats buzzing the bell naked for 1/2 an hour with a soggy cardboard box to hide my modesty.

Pissed in my partners cat box until it over flowed was about the best, remember the cat getting the blame, with more than a certain amount of bewilderment as it stank of Stella Artois.
 
On our kid's stag do in Riga I was bladdered and desperate for a slash in the middle of the night. Still not sure if I was sleepwalking or just pie eyed, but ended up walking out of the hotel room and then down the corridor. It was one of those hotels where the corridor doors lock behind you and without the swipe card you can't get back in. As I came round realised I was locked out just in my boxers and really bursting for a piss, imminently, with nowhere to go. Legged it to the lift to get to the ground floor where I knew there was a toilet. Sods law the lift stopped on the way down and a couple got in, proper embarrassing. When it got to the ground floor I legged it across the foyer on the verge of literally pissing myself, then afterwards had to sheepishly get a member of the hotel staff to escort me back to my room so I could get back in. Spent the rest of the weekend with hotel staff laughing and pointing at me every time I went to reception. Still cringe about it now.
 
Ric said:
On our kid's stag do in Riga I was bladdered and desperate for a slash in the middle of the night. Still not sure if I was sleepwalking or just pie eyed, but ended up walking out of the hotel room and then down the corridor. It was one of those hotels where the corridor doors lock behind you and without the swipe card you can't get back in. As I came round realised I was locked out just in my boxers and really bursting for a piss, imminently, with nowhere to go. Legged it to the lift to get to the ground floor where I knew there was a toilet. Sods law the lift stopped on the way down and a couple got in, proper embarrassing. When it got to the ground floor I legged it across the foyer on the verge of literally pissing myself, then afterwards had to sheepishly get a member of the hotel staff to escort me back to my room so I could get back in. Spent the rest of the weekend with hotel staff laughing and pointing at me every time I went to reception. Still cringe about it now.
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Shit.

I've hero-worshipped you for years as well.

You ****.
 
This has got to be the best thread i've ever seen on BM...

I can't recall ever doing anything of the sort personally... but I have a mate who has 'issues'.

In my last year of 6th form we used to always go to Milton Keynes' Oceana on a Thursday and then die the slowest of deaths on a Friday morning at school. It had been quite a big one this one night and I remember waking up at what was about 5 in the morning. I had a Casio light up watch. I thought i'd heard my mate get up out of my bed (we were sharing my double... nothing gay about that!) and knock the glass of water over next to my bed. But the water just kept on flowing... I pressed the light on the Casio to see my mate stood there with his arse out pissing all over my wooden floor. I waiting til he got back into my bed and smacked him in the face... twat!

Oh, but it doesn't stop there!

About a year later he stayed over mine at Uni. I slept in my bedroom and he kipped in our halls' living room which I shared with 5 others. We were playing Southampton in the cup that day so I got up and left without saying bye to him because I presumed he would still be asleep and fuck off when he wanted to. Anyway, went over to Manc, and back to Sheff whilst taking in a 3-1 victory and he was lying there on the sofa still (it was about 7:30 at this point) for some reason he was reluctant to turn the lights on. I went to my room to take my coat off and as I came out the 5 others I lived with started shouting at me. Apparently one of the lads I lived with went to work at 8 that morning and my mate was standing in the living room naked pissing on the floor... twat!

Since then there has been many situations where he transformed from sleep walking/pissing, to simply pissing himself. At the end of the summer last year I woke up to him pissed my bed, whilst I was still in it. I wouldn't say I'm proud of this by any stretch but I filmed him on my phone cleaning it off my bed so that I could show everyone what a twat he is. 'You've taken the piss out of my trust, so now I'm gonna take the piss out of you,' was the line. He eventually got picked up by his Dad in tears after I told him that he was a 'freakshow' that needed 'urgent help'... This would of stopped him wouldn't it?

No.

In October it was my mates 21st, and we stayed at his house in Fallowfield. Cracking night out, he rented out Prohibition in Deansgate, we got suited and booted, and fucking hammered. There was loads of us staying over his house and in one of the rooms was his brothers mate who was only 17. He slept next to my mate. He heard him get up in the morning and he thought he was just 'really sweaty'. Nah, the piss had struck again... And finally two weeks ago we had a night out in Sheffield, long story, but he slept next to my mates bed on the floor. My mate got woken up my the shower being on so he got up to see what was going on. He put his foot down into my mates piss. Lovely. His wallet and passport were on the radiator all day drying off.

Needless to say he has new phone every few months because they all get 'water-damaged',
 
The dreaded dunken sleep piss! I am another who is a fully fledged member of this club, the best one was when I stayed at an ex birds parents house, had stayed up late drinking whiskey with her fathers till late, woke up feeling like death when my bird came in with a weird look on her face.

She comes over and says breakfast is ready, I can hear her mum down stairs shouting me down, just as I get up though she says oh and my mum caught you walking around the house naked last night, after she heard you pissing on the landing. She had got up and turned the light on to see me stood stalk bollock at the top of the stairs in all my glory she had a conversation with me telling me to go to bed apparently!!!

All of a sudden flash backs came back to me ref clawing at the walls trying to find the door in the middle of the night oops, to top it off I had to go down to breakfast with her mum dad and 2 brothers, bad bad bad, knew the birds mum had seen little biggs as she gave me extra bacon at breakfast with a wink!!!!
 
I had a phantom piss bed experience when i was staying in a hotel in london..got up and the bed was dry as a bone..
My friend who i go out with on a friday and saturday night gets smashed and goes into his kids rooms and pisses over them..strange eh
To combat this his wife has had to buy bunk beds for the children(obviously sleeping on the top bunk only) lol
 
We went to pary one night and had a competition to see who could down the most raw eggs. My brother done 25. He went to bed and bout 4 in the morning he wandered into the living room. We was all on the beer and bong suddenly this apparition sauntered by dropped his kegs and shit in the cat litter tray. Fast asleep he was, so how did he know to use the litter. Weird.
 
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