Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[swervin]

Bump.... There you go Swervin

Swales lives, Cheers mate. Will get you a beer next home game.

 

[ono]

My mate in Kavos when we were on holiday.

We knew something had happened when he got up at 7am one morning, turned his mattress over and went out on his own. When the maid came in she flipped it back over, saw the piss and started screaming at me. Transpired he'd pissed the bed and had tried to hide it.

Anyway he had to pay for a new mattress. On the last night he took a bird back and shagged her on my other mates bed. Only he forgot to bin the condom wrapper. Me and my other mate went back later, he saw what had happened. He was pissed off so he decided to piss on my mates new mattress. I thought about talking him out of it but it was too funny.

Old pissypants had to fork out again for a new a mattress, because we never told him what we did. He thought he'd done it again. To make matters worse, the rep who he had to give the money to was fit as fuck.

 

[liamctid]

Surely this belongs in the Classic Threads section?

 

[poyntonblue]

I did it in Mexico a few years ago with an ex bird. All inclusive beer drinking all afternoon and evening ended up back in our room and had a small barey with her. Anyway spits my dummy out and needing a slash grabs the door to the bathroom or so I thought. Grabbed the room door and walked through it. Room went straight out onto the path between apartments so I ended up pissing against a wall bollock naked with people walking past the end of this cut through.
Walked back into bed straight to sleep. In the morning my bird asked where i went last night my reply was to the toilet, true in some ways.

 

[r01z]

16yo mates house for his 17th birthday

had abit of trouble with an ex and got absolutely shitfaced, was found passed out ruined huddlied round the toilet so i was dragged to his bed and left there for the night....or so they thought

woke up next morning downstairs curled up on the end of a sofa bed, not the foggiest how i got there

mate walks in, big smile on his face, 'you fucking pissed down the stairs last night' instantly denied it as u do but 3 of my mates happened to have heard me and watched me performing a stair waterfall, their excuse to not to have woken me up was 'we could have killed you cos of the shock of waking you up'. The worst thing was, i finished then walked through it all to get to the sofabed downstairs...

 

[ibbo_mcfc]

I got up one morning at the ex's. She says to me, you know you got up and pissed in the wardrobe last night. Oh im really really sorry about that. No prblems she said, at least you got up this time.

 

[Ederson1000YardDrive]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

Very cruel.... BUT, I must admit it's funny!

That took balls!

 

[MCFC BOB]

I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.

pmsl have tears in my eyes laughing

my dad just walked in to ask if i was upset i was crying so hard. haha.

 

[swervin]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

 

[Dyed Petya]

It's back! Quality. Still makes me laugh, swervin - even after reading it only the other day!