Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[2sheikhs]

Im surprised we haven't got onto sleep pooing yet

I've been known to beat one off in my sleep. Apparently, no matter how loud she shouted at me and hit me, I couldn't be woken.

Strange one that ;)

I'm a multi tasker. She said I was snoring and wanking at the same time.

 

[The perfect fumble]

years ago i was renting a room off my mate and we were always out drinking one night i just fell asleep on the couch but then to be awakened by my friend pissing in the porch way(the ones that join straight to the living room) ribbed him all day and night about it untill 2 nights later i did exactly the same and yes my mate caught me as well..

we both found it very odd that we went to the same place to piss still cant work it out to this day!

Did you wake up with your dick covered in cat litter?

 

[kp789]

I've been known to beat one off in my sleep. Apparently, no matter how loud she shouted at me and hit me, I couldn't be woken.

Strange one that ;)

I'm a multi tasker. She said I was snoring and wanking at the same time.

Hang on, are you actually serious that you couldn't be woken? Its not just an excuse?

 

[2sheikhs]

Strange one that ;)

I'm a multi tasker. She said I was snoring and wanking at the same time.

Hang on, are you actually serious that you couldn't be woken? Its not just an excuse?

She said she was woken by the bed moving thinking it was one of those tremors. She then realised I was burping my worm while asleep and told me to pack it in. I apparently carried on snoring so she shouted and when that didn't work, started hitting me which eventually woke me up in a bad mood.

 

[Helmet Cole]

The problem I have with drunken sleep pissing is I'm always convinced it wasn't me because I can't remember it.

 

[Anthony Kun]

My lads ever so good at this although not drunken - more sleep pissing as he's 4 years old!
Most recent was waking for a nap on sofa after a hard day at school... walked straight into kitchen behind kitchen door and pissed against the wall like I would have in a pub urinal!!
Lucky it has tiled floors haha. Although not so fortunate the time before along side the banister on the landing carpet!!! Little shit!!

 

[BackofJeanette]

My wife and her mate had been out on the lash while I was working.
By the time I got in about oneish, they'd both retired to their respective beds.
I poured a drink and went to sit in the living room. I noticed a big pool at the side of one of the chairs. My first thought was that the dog had pissed, then I spotted a thong at the back of the chair, (yes, I was tempted to sniff it cos her mate is fit as)!
I realised that she must have fell asleep on the chair, woke up took off her thong and pissed on my wooden (thank god) floor!

I told my missus the next day and she told me not to mention it as she'd done it in other girls houses in the past!
The thing is she was going out with this really sound bloke but finished with him cos he pissed the bed one night!
But did he?

 

[bridgeblue]

Grandparents use to spend Christmas at ours so me and my younger brother had to sleep in the same room, I slept in my bed and he had a small camping bed. One year he woke me up whilst I was in full flow into his coat pocket, it was hung up on the back of the bedroom door. The following year I managed to go one better,I just got out of bed and started pissing on him. He managed to wake me up but I continued a little longer because it was so funny.

 

[SteWadda]

Grandparents use to spend Christmas at ours so me and my younger brother had to sleep in the same room, I slept in my bed and he had a small camping bed. One year he woke me up whilst I was in full flow into his coat pocket, it was hung up on the back of the bedroom door. The following year I managed to go one better,I just got out of bed and started pissing on him. He managed to wake me up but I continued a little longer because it was so funny.

Insestual golden shower sounds a bit sick to me.

 

[Churchill123]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

I'm laughing.. but fuck me thats wrong!

 

[Churchill123]

I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.

Hahahaha, please tell me this is true! If so you sir are a fucking legend!

 

[Garrinchas---Dog]

3 years ago we went to Tunisia for a week,it was an all inclusive cheap
week away.One night after getting hammered i woke up to use the toilet,the next thing i found myself in the corridor with the apartment door locked behind me,
i was only waring a t-shirt no boxers or shorts,and still bursting for a piss.

I couldn't wake the Mrs up dispite knocking as loud as i could without drawing any attention to myself.At this point I'm gripping my cock as I'm starting to piss on the floor....With no option i pulled the t-shirt down over my shoulders ripping it in the process,but turning it in to a makeshift dress,but panic had set in by now.......so i have now covered my bits up.....four doors along the door was open and the apartment was empty,i crept in the bathroom but couldn't get to the toilet as a trolley with all the new kit for the room was in the way.......So i pissed in the sink........i had to.....The rest of this was less eventful.....luckily for me the man on the reception was very understanding,"locked out" he said...........

In the lift on way back to the room he said i was not the first to find myself
locked out in the corridor,due to the bathroom and front door being next to each other.

Got back into bed and went to sleep,woke up in the morning and told the Mrs what had happened......her response...........Your full of shit....

About an hour later........"what have you done to this t-shirt"........

 

[Deleted member 52846]

Woke up once having been sick, shit myself and pissed myself. After a little while of not moving, lying dead still and assessing exactly what state I was in, I realised my face was killing me so I clambered my way out of my bed and stumbled over to the mirror to find I had one eye that was completely swollen shut like I'd been hit with a cricket bat in the face (still to this day don't know how I got it).

Also I used to take GHB a fair bit and pissed myself a couple of times after passing out on it.

 

[bridgeblue]

Grandparents use to spend Christmas at ours so me and my younger brother had to sleep in the same room, I slept in my bed and he had a small camping bed. One year he woke me up whilst I was in full flow into his coat pocket, it was hung up on the back of the bedroom door. The following year I managed to go one better,I just got out of bed and started pissing on him. He managed to wake me up but I continued a little longer because it was so funny.

Insestual golden shower sounds a bit sick to me.

Our kid's a rag, that makes it ok in my book.

 

[Pezzer2]

Not really done it myself but my mate is notorious for pissing in different places. He once pissed in his bird's knee high boots, we also had a pedal bin in a hotel room and 3 nights running pissed in that thinking that when the lid flipped up it was a toilet seat. The same guy has pissed in draws, cupboards and even on his mum and dad asleep.

Another mate staying a birds house (who was living with her parents) went for a pee and when he come back went in the wrong room and jumped in bed with her mum and dad.

The best was my dads mate though. He shit the bed after a heavy session whilst his misses was sleeping beside him. While she was asleep, he managed to smear shit all over her knickers, went for a wash and come back in and sneaked into bed again and then woke her shouting "you dirty bastard, what the hell has happened" Dont think she knows the truth to this day

 

[scotty123]

No not yet but iv been on the sauce since 10.45 this morning and iv just stopped now so the chance of mrs underpants getting a piss stain up her back are very likely thanks to Mr G. Barry

 

[Anonymous]

I enjoyed an excellent pub crawl in Didsbury last night , during which i visited about six or seven pubs , and finally emerged from the last hostelry 'well oiled' .... however upon checking my slippers this morning i was much relieved to see that they were still dry !

 

[kp789]

What?!?!?

 

[Chev Chelios]

Pissed in a wardrobe many a time.

 

[andyhinch]

Best one I've got, a mate of mine in the allps, walked into someone's room pissed in his sink, said bloke woke up, my mate said morning and went back to bed, they met again at breakfast, was interesting