Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[Cheltblue]

My favourite thread ever, never a more deserved 'bump'!

 

[Honiton Blue]

Done it loads. When I first left home into my new flat, I got slaughtered and woke to find a my clothes neatly folded inside the front door and a pool of piss around my brand new stereo! - The CD tray was popping in and out and all the lights on the display was going crazy.

 

[shadygiz]

done more than my fair share

a few of my examples are: -

was living in glasgow working for a large company...my boss was invited down to the liverpool derby as a corporate hospitality thing with a customer...staying in a large hotel in liverpool....my boss couldnt make it, so i stood in at the last minute....got absolutely slaughtered on the train on way down and then at match.....was supposed to be going out entertaining clients in the evening and staggered upto my room about 7ish to get changed, woke up in the next morning having swamped the bed
looked out of the doors and seen maid coming, so i packed up and did one back up on the train to glasgow

about a week later, i'm sat in the office opposite my boss, when he receives a phone call from the hotel asking for him to settle a cleaning bill, as i had booked in under his name ;)

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another time, my mate an evertonian invited me to stay at his sisters in southport whilst we went out for the night....she let me have her youngest lads room, he would be about 10ish at the time....we went out on the piss, staggered home to his sisters and settled down for the night....i woke in the middle of the night with that awful wet patch feeling, knowing damn well i was gonna have a lot of explaining in the morning.....i decided to stand the matress up against the wall and get my head down on the flor, hoping the matress would be dry for the next morning.....around 9am i heard everyone getting up and having breakfast....by 11.30 i was still in the bedroom praying for the matress to dry....needless to say my mate came up around 12ish to check on me and i had to come clean.....last time i say his brother in law he was dragging the matress down the garden path ;p

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and this one still makes me LOL now.......came home to my mums house (when i still lived with parents) absolutely legless and stumbled into bed...woke up next moring fine......it was monday morning when i got up for work and went to put my work shoes on that i found it.....i had shat in my wardrobe and finished it off by pissing in my work shoes....HOW THE FUCK DO YOU MANAGE THAT!!!

i have plenty more too, like the time i straddled my ex-fiance as i was getting out of bed to go to the loo, then decided it was too far and started pissing on her....in my sleep ;p

 

[Ducado]

Haven't we all done it pissing in the wardrobe seems quite common LOL

Years ago a Mate of mine pissed all over his little sister, he is a top coper now!

 

[Blue Streak]

Shit, i think this confirms that i'm more like a guy than a girl because i really should be appalled by this thread, but instead i find myself contributing to it.

At uni the rooms in the halls of residence had a sink in but the showers and toilets were out on the corridor. Every weekend we would get wasted on barcardi and aftershocks in happy hour and every nite i used to piss in the sink in my room instead of making it out of my room, down the corridor, to the toilets. One nite though i had company and he sat in bed watching in disbelief while i did it. Got the "piss" took out of me for months at uni after that......

Or maybe it just means you have lived life a bit and can laugh at yourself as well as others. ;-)

 

[bluemoonchick]

Shit, i think this confirms that i'm more like a guy than a girl because i really should be appalled by this thread, but instead i find myself contributing to it.

At uni the rooms in the halls of residence had a sink in but the showers and toilets were out on the corridor. Every weekend we would get wasted on barcardi and aftershocks in happy hour and every nite i used to piss in the sink in my room instead of making it out of my room, down the corridor, to the toilets. One nite though i had company and he sat in bed watching in disbelief while i did it. Got the "piss" took out of me for months at uni after that......

Or maybe it just means you have lived life a bit and can laugh at yourself as well as others. ;-)

Aw thank you, i love you for making me feel better :-)

 

[city bairn]

Was at a party woke up still at this hoouse party around 3am still drunk. Proceeded to piss in a first place golf tournament trophy.

 

[Swales lives]

Sorry to be a killjoy mate but bluemonday's is an Urban Myth.

Keep them honest please...

yeah. how dare you say a funny story on a free forum without proving it to be 100% true. you b******!

As the saying goes, "Never let the truth get in the way of a good story". Top thread.

 

[maineroad68]

I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.

pmsl have tears in my eyes laughing

me too. crying laughing!

 

[BimboBob]

My wife woke up in the middle of the night a few years ago and told me that if i wanted to piss out of the window could i please open it first?
Apparently she had been woken by a hissing and dripping noise.

 

[dave the pie]

Not pissing but worse........... Went to the lakes for a romantic weekend with the EX girlfriend and stayed in a really plush b&b, spent the day drinking all different sorts of real ale in the pubs along with having a curry and going to bed...... during the night I had really bad tummy ache so knowing that the turtles head was popping out decided to make a quick move to the en-suite bathroom, just as I moved Ithought I was going to fart, but instead I shit all over my side of the bed, panicking like mad I rushed to the bog finished it off although it was not one bit solid....cleaned myself up with wet toilet paper to dispose of all evidence. Webnt bacjk to the bedroom and she was snoring her head off, so I gently rolled her over to my side of the bed and then got in her side. We were both naked, the smell was disgusting, so i decided to wake her up and yes you have guessed, I said to her "what the fuck have you done, you have shit yourself" I tell you what, she had rolled around in it and it was all on her back, inside of her leg all over her arse and fanny. She burst into tears and kept saying sorry, sorry this has never happened to me before, i feel so embarrassed, please dont tell anybody. We only ended staying thaat night and even though we split up a few months later I still bump into her and she always thanks me for not telling anyone.

at work pissing my self @ this!!! LEG END.

 

[dave the pie]

actually i hav one myself. my mate has a little holiday home in wales and about 8 of us go there afew times a year, about 2 years ago we r all playing centurion (100 shots of something alcholic in 100 minutes) anyway we are about half way an one mate is doing it with cheap champagne. we r all around a big table which is in the kitchen. He decides he needs to be sick, so rushes to the back door which was locked, but had the key in the door. Hes franticley trying to unlock the door but to no avail. Hands tight over mouth with the other 7 of us pissing our sides, he turns to the full to the brim sink an through his tightley clasped fingers which act like a finger under a running tap yacks all over the sink, plates, cups, all up the back wall, all over the floor, on the cooker absolutly every where. He spent the next hour cleaning up. That will go to my grave with me!!!

 

[shadygiz]

one of my mates (a veggie) had a mushroom stroganoff for tea....went to bed later....he got up in middle of night with deli belly, so he runs to the toilet....halfway across the landing he farts and carries on to the bog.....he finishes up and goes back to bed.....next morning his missus finds a whole button mushroom sitting on the landing carpet

 

[tueartsboots]

Have pissed in the wardrobe, have pissed in my little brothers toy box but worst one was getting caught by me auld fella pissing in the kitchen sink- full of pots ! I just just used to close 1 eye to focus at him, say "hic, whaverere dunno wad ya shtalking abit" and stumble off to bed.
He used to piss behind the TV when I was a kid so he couldn't really say owt !

 

[goat boy]

Classic thread, all over. Fucking hilarious.

Been there, done that. Hotel room. My employer paid for the room (and the ale), and the proprietor was one of his friends, so that's as much as I'm saying, apart from the fact that ex Miss goat boy did a sterling job of taking care of the mess ;)

 

[burning blue soul]

drunken sleep pissing is one thing but i have unfortunately done a sober awaken squirt in my time, those damn front doors fecking KNOW, JUST KNOW you are dying for a piss!!!

anyways, had a mate who was staying at his girls' parents house a few years ago. he got over-boozed and ended up pissing in the parents bedside wardrobe, they woke up to see him shaking his 'old man' and stagger out of the room.

my closest call was when i was 10 years old, sunday morning, 6am getting ready to go fishing with my dad, i am stood at the bathroom sink when my 17 year old drunken brother staggers in and proceeds to piss down the back of my trousers, i go mental at him and push him away, his responce is to say "soz terry" - dont know who he was appologising to but im not terry!

another mate (whose wife had visited her mother for the night) had an elicite roll in the duvet with a friend of his wifes', she pissed the bed and fucked off and he had to cough it to his wife that he had pissed himself.

 

[leighton]

At the a job Xmas party 1 year we were staying over for the night they paid for everything sharing the room with another bloke went for a slash in a drunken state. Instead of going into the door were the bathroom was I went out of door and on to the balcony there I was having a slash and what happens the door slams behind me to make matters worst I couldn't wake up my room mate and had to jump accross the next balcony and bang down the door to get back into the hotel in a pair of boxers. Next morning I found out it was the bosses room I have been in and I was giving him and his wife a bollocking for locking me out of the room. Ended up getting a key off a security guard to get back into the room.

 

[tangaroa]

Classic thread. A well deserved bump.

 

[kinkysleftfoot]

Used to happen all the time when I was in the army, lads used to get moved to other rooms and would wake up and wander off for a piss where they thought the toilet was. I walked out of my barrack room down the hall past the stairwell and into another room and pissed all over a lad who was fast asleep! Strange thing was the same thing happened to him several months later when some one else went for a drunken piss

 

[2sheikhs]

Mine's pretty bad.
I had started brewing my own beer at home. We had arranged to spend the night in Scotland and were going to set off late afternoon. At about lunchtime, I had a quick check on my beer to see how it was doing. Even though it had only spent a couple of days in the fermenting bin it still looked and smelled like proper beer. I'd got too excited and impatient and decided to drink a pint of it. It was fucking rank.
We got to Dumfries in the evening,checked into our B&B and went to the bar for a drink. I started to feel a bit rough and my guts were in knots. I ran to the bogs and projectile vomited all down the cubicle wall and the cistern. When the vomiting stopped, my arsehole started twitching so I had to turn around quickly, drop my pants and let out what can only be described as boiling hot fizzy gravy. After spending about 15 minutes in there, I returned to the bar shaking and sweating and told the mrs I was going to bed because I felt as rough as fuck. She stayed in the bar with my brother and his mrs.
I fell asleep in one of the two single beds but was woken when my wife came into the room. I thought I was going to fart so decided to let it out gently but instead, it was more of the runs. Our room didn't have a bathroom, just a sink and mirror. I went walking around the corridors looking for the bathroom with fuck all on. I found it, made a mess in it and went back to my room. She wouldn't let my get into her single bed with her so I put a clean sheet on the floor and tried to get back to sleep only for my guts to start bubbling up again. I couldn't be arsed going down the corridor again and with it only being rusty water coming out, I stuck my arse in the sink. She started bollocking me because she wanted to use the sink in the morning for a wash and to brush her teeth.
I couldn't bring myself to tell the staff what I'd done so we just made the beds in the morning, paid the bill and fucked off quickly. I was actually ill for about 3 or 4 days.