Drunken Sleep Pissing - We've all done it, haven't we?

[clairepartyring]

Bout 2 year ago.

I woke up one night after me and the gf had a night on the lash and heard what i thought was the washing machine on and assumed the gf must have stuck some washing on overnight (dunno why, she'd never doen that before!)

Then i realsied she wasnt in bed so i walked into kitchen and she was stood bollock naked holding on to the kitchen sink and just p*ss*n for England. I walked toward her and stepped in it with both feet before i realised what wuz happening.

She couldnt remember a thing next morning............... but my feet stank of p*ss!!!

Absolutely brilliant, Cheltblue.

You confirmed my belief in the original post that some women must do this.

No,certainly havent!!!!!

 

[PoolHustler]

I stayed at an ex-girlfriends parents house one night. Got f*cking slaughtered, and next morning I was the last to get up.
Went for a shite, which was theeee biggest shit I have ever done. The sheer length and width of the stool shocked me.
It was like a proper tramps shit. Anyway, I just knew I couldn't flush it and there was no bog-brush to force it down.

So I opened the bathroom window, picked up the huge shit with my bare hands and threw it as far as I could. Job done.
Had a shower and went down for breakfast, to be met with stone-cold silence and hateful glares. The mum, dad and my bird were sat in the conservatory finishing their full-english as my enormous turd splattered the glass roof.

We never went out again.

pmsl have tears in my eyes laughing

Add me and mrs TB to be that ! tears in eyes that is !

Funny as fuck, just woken the missus up laughing

 

[johnny on the spot]

Aged about sixteen, I'd been drinking JD and beer at a mate's mum's house in Tintwhistle. I passed out absolutely fcuked in the living room while he was playing Resident Evil. After about half an hour of loud snoring I got up, whipped out the old chap and comprehensively hosed down his mother's new carpet, humming something resembling the Ghostbusters theme tune. Once finished, I apparently turned to my mate and remarked 'How's that for your mam, eh?' before collapsing face first, nob out into a nearby rocking chair. The worst part for my mate was that while distracted by me pissing all over the place, he'd been torn to bits by zombie rottweilers without saving his game. It apparently took a fortnight for the stink to evaporate.

Don't remember a thing about it at all.

 

[JOGAMIGMOG]

Is there any man out there who can seriously claim to have not done a drunken sleep piss?

Whether it's in a wardrobe or drawer, on the wife or in a hotel corridor, the mystery sleep piss remains a bastion of manhood.

My personal theory is that it's your brains way of ensuring you don't piss the bed. And the reason that everyone remembers waking up pissing on a plant in a hotel or being told they pissed in the drawer at a mate's house is because in a strange house your brain gets lost.

I reckon we all do it more than we think in our own toilet and never even know. There've definitely been oddly large splashback stains around our toilet some mornings after a session.

So let's have your tales, gentlemen. Or ladies come to think of it. Surely there's some lady out there prepared to admit to nightsquatting?

I pissed in the wife's knicker drawer and also all over the hotel carpet in Brighton once. I once stayed at my mate's house following a particularly raucus party and woke up to find one of the lads pissing all over his stereo! :)

 

[simonk]

Ive pissed in our dirty washing basket a couple of times, and a few years ago staying in a mates spare room I woke them all up trying to shift the wardrobe that I was convinced was in front of the bedroom door blocking my exit. Id settled for pissing out of the window as people came to find out what was going on.

years back I was asleep on a mates couch and got up to throw up - made it to the kitchen sink and emptied out - turned the light on to find it full of pots. Then attempted to collect as much as I could and put it in the dogs bowl - dog wasnt having any of it, so I then scooped it up again and carried it up stairs and slung it down the bog. Nice tidy job done I thought and went back to sleep.
his old man woke me up a few hours later with a face like thunder and slung me out.
obviously the house looked like a spew spreader had been through it.

same mate got away with pissing on a girls front room floor by saying the radiator must have leaked.

Another lad came around to find his mates mum watching him pissing from the top of his mates stairs onto the barking dog at the bottom

 

[bluemooncol]

after a heavy night out with my mates - i fell asleep on the sofa - then all i can remember was my brother saying 'col what are you doing' this is when i woke up, i was stood at the foot of his bed pissing on it while he was asleep, i then stopped and went back downstairs

 

[blue dallas]

few years ago i went through a phase of peeing on the kitchen floor.

then one sunday morning my girlfriend ( now wife) woke me up with a pint pot in her hand

full of lash slash, that she'd found on the kitchen worktop.

her response....." your improving "

 

[Baker Boy]

I pissed all over my stereo unit many years ago when I still lived at home but I've since gone one better than that and shat in the corner of the marital bedroom. I then apparently wiped my arse with my hands and got back in bed. The scene in the morning was total carnage and the Missus didn't speak to me for about a week. I'm cringing now just thinking about it.

 

[warpig]

i know two people who do this regularly and as luck would have it, i was best man at one of the persons wedding. i incorporated it into my speech and brought the house down. it still makes my cry with laughter when i re-run the dvd. hes never lived it down. just thinking about it now makes me chuckle.

 

[Cheltblue]

Read this thread last night, and all of it again tonight. me and the bird have been 'p*ss*n' ourselves laughing.

Vulgar? Maybe!!! but prob the funniest thread i have seen on BM.