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Embarrassing moments in life
- Thread starter metalblue
- Start date
Mad Eyed Screamer
Moderator
Our supporters club went to Blackpool every end of season for a weekend and play the Blackpool Blues 11 a side in the early 80's staying in a B&B owned by Blues.
Was sharing a room with 3 other lads (in 2 double beds) and they got up early for breakfast. I needed a piss and so opened the door and went down the hallway in my undies and the door shut behind me..... I do the business in the toilet and try the door but shut tight.
So off I go tip toeing down 2 flights of stairs and outside the dining area assuming hardly anyone would be up. Open the door and 30 odd Blues sat at the tables eating breakfast looking at skinny, spotty me in my sky blue undies. I look at the 3 lads in my room and ask if one has a key. They don't.
Then the B&B owner's 14 year daughter comes towards me carrying a tray with breakfast plates on it.....
"I need a key for room 7"
And she goes off and gets her mum..... who gives me the key..... then I pass another 6 or 8 people on my way back up 2 flights of stairs back to the room.
I gave breakfast a miss!
Was sharing a room with 3 other lads (in 2 double beds) and they got up early for breakfast. I needed a piss and so opened the door and went down the hallway in my undies and the door shut behind me..... I do the business in the toilet and try the door but shut tight.
So off I go tip toeing down 2 flights of stairs and outside the dining area assuming hardly anyone would be up. Open the door and 30 odd Blues sat at the tables eating breakfast looking at skinny, spotty me in my sky blue undies. I look at the 3 lads in my room and ask if one has a key. They don't.
Then the B&B owner's 14 year daughter comes towards me carrying a tray with breakfast plates on it.....
"I need a key for room 7"
And she goes off and gets her mum..... who gives me the key..... then I pass another 6 or 8 people on my way back up 2 flights of stairs back to the room.
I gave breakfast a miss!
Last edited:
everythingchangesbutblue
Well-Known Member
I was somewhere, can't even remember where now but was trying to get talking to women as you do, trying to be cool. I was getting nowhere with anyone. Sometime later a mate said to me "'what's that on your shoulder?" Turns out i had been trying to chat these girls up with a huge phlegmy gobber all over my shirt. Massive it was and no doubting what it was either. Must have blown back in the wind on my way to wherever it was.
abu13
Well-Known Member
Not the worst one for me but when I was 16 had a late night quicky at the girlfriends house, parents asleep upstairs, went home and the next morning got a call from her dad asking if I would come round after work. When I asked why he calmly said so you can pick the used Jonny up off the carpet and put it in the bin and then put the phone down.
Sound fella but looked hard as nails I absolutely shit myself when I next saw him.
Sound fella but looked hard as nails I absolutely shit myself when I next saw him.
BeerIsTheBest
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 6 Oct 2018
- Messages
- 1,947
Another innocent one for the archive. Travelled to London Sunday night for a ridiculously early meet on the Monday on the last train which was then delayed on route for three hours. Got to Euston very angry and went to my hotel to find they had given my room away.
A bed was found in a sister hotel. I was particularly unpleasant to the night Porter in the second hotel who did all he could to apologise for the cock up on the room. ‘Anything you want or need he said...’ as i stomped off.
Threw my bag down in the room and went for a wash. Climbed into bed and noticed a faint but annoying hum. Looked everywhere for the noise- radiators, air conditioning, telly etc and drew a blank
by this time it was something like 3.00am and my meet was at 7.30. I called reception and played merry hell with the Porter who scuttled up to my room.
Together we looked all over the room for the source of the hum... we both circled back to my bag. My action of throwing it onto the floor in the hissy fit had activated my electric razor.
I opened the bag and turned the razor off.
I bet you think I’m a bit of a dick I said. Yes said the Porter and departed.
A bed was found in a sister hotel. I was particularly unpleasant to the night Porter in the second hotel who did all he could to apologise for the cock up on the room. ‘Anything you want or need he said...’ as i stomped off.
Threw my bag down in the room and went for a wash. Climbed into bed and noticed a faint but annoying hum. Looked everywhere for the noise- radiators, air conditioning, telly etc and drew a blank
by this time it was something like 3.00am and my meet was at 7.30. I called reception and played merry hell with the Porter who scuttled up to my room.
Together we looked all over the room for the source of the hum... we both circled back to my bag. My action of throwing it onto the floor in the hissy fit had activated my electric razor.
I opened the bag and turned the razor off.
I bet you think I’m a bit of a dick I said. Yes said the Porter and departed.
5 Hit Gibbon
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Jan 2020
- Messages
- 7,462
Another innocent one for the archive. Travelled to London Sunday night for a ridiculously early meet on the Monday on the last train which was then delayed on route for three hours. Got to Euston very angry and went to my hotel to find they had given my room away.
A bed was found in a sister hotel. I was particularly unpleasant to the night Porter in the second hotel who did all he could to apologise for the cock up on the room. ‘Anything you want or need he said...’ as i stomped off.
Threw my bag down in the room and went for a wash. Climbed into bed and noticed a faint but annoying hum. Looked everywhere for the noise- radiators, air conditioning, telly etc and drew a blank
by this time it was something like 3.00am and my meet was at 7.30. I called reception and played merry hell with the Porter who scuttled up to my room.
Together we looked all over the room for the source of the hum... we both circled back to my bag. My action of throwing it onto the floor in the hissy fit had activated my electric razor.
I opened the bag and turned the razor off.
I bet you think I’m a bit of a dick I said. Yes said the Porter and departed.
Is electric razor code for vibrating fist dildo?
Barcon
Well-Known Member
Well, if that wasn't one for the wank bank..............Me and the Mrs were driving around Spain in a hired Renault Kangoo, the one with the van type hatch back. We had stopped by a dam on the Ebro on a deserted rd, miles from civilisation and I had just ' paid a visit '.... It was hot, sweaty and sticky so decided to carry on driving without any undies but by now the only way I could remove said undergarments was to lie down in the back with the hatch back up and struggle to get them off whist the Mrs did her nails or something.....Right on cue a flat back Transit with half a dozen Spanish council blokes drove past....there's me with my undies tangled round my feet, feet in the air and bollocks over the tow bar.
Just you or...... ;)Pics
Barcon
Well-Known Member
Pics sent.Pics
Coming home from London on a Virgin train, I'm sitting in the quiet coach right at the front enjoying some wine. After a while I need the toilet. Anyone familiar with the layout of those trains knows there is a small toilet just outside the door of that carriage. It isn't busy so I pop out. There is a sticker on the door saying out of order so I walk down to the next toilet which is one of those huge ones with the automatic door. Nobody's outside and a result the light is green which means it's free. I press the button and the door starts to slide open......accompanied by frantic screeching. To my horror I am confronted by a rather large lady, knickers around ankles sat on the toilet trying in vain to somehow stop the door from opening. The problem is she can't as once the switch is operated it has to slide open fully, only then once it stops can you press it again to close it and that's not a quick process. I beat a hasty retreat shouting, " Lock the door, lock the door!!!" with her screams still echoing in my ears lol.