Funniest thing you have heard at a match

my flatmate is from hull and his dad is involved in North Ferriby Utd so we wnt to watch them away at Northwich Victoria a couple of weeks back. There was about 5 Ferriby fans (including myself) and we were at the back constantly singing throughout the game (just the 5 of us) singing 'He's big and he's Paul Foot and he's, number 5' (Paul Foot is a mad guy and when he's out he knocks people out for fun (in other words he's a ****!)) so one of them carries on the song with 'He's big and he's Paul Foot and he, loves cocaine' to which Foot turns round has a snigger and shakes his head.

Later on in the game the linesman near us had been giving Ferriby everything for a period of time. He flagged a Northwich forward for offside to which all the Northwich fans started kicking off for a while, the shouting died down and one of the Ferriby lads shouted 'I Love You'

Then after a while one of the Northwich fans (quite fat with a bald head) started getting pissed off at us lot singing throughout the game and started kicking off at us saying 'shut the fuck up' and shit like that. He looked the spitting image of Matt Lucas so one of the lads started singing 'you can stick your Little Britain up your arse' on his own to him, was piss funny!
 
I remember ( i think ) the Full Members or Simod Cup away at Bramhall Lane either late 80's or early 90's Niall Quinn missed an absolute sitter after a great ball from David White right in front of only about 2 - 300 City total silence after the miss except for Niall's very loud and clear "bollocks right though my feckin legs" it made me and my mate laugh anyway.
 
A few summers ago we were playing in a pre season friendly at coms. Think it was against Valencia and we were winning. This guy a row infront of us had 3 kids with him who had been as good as gold. Then all of a sudden the dad stands up on his chair and stands singing "we've won it 3 times, we've won it 3 times, the Thomas cook trophy, we've won it 3 times" his kids were crying their eyes out and just carried on, and on and on. It was piss funny!!!
 
A pal of mine has some serious moments at the match. Some of his classics -

'Ref I've shagged your wife' to which a guy two rows in front of us turned round and asked 'Have you?'. My mates response 'Yes, TWICE!!' He held two fingers up to highlight the point as well.

To the ref tying his laces ' Stand up straight, you bender!!'

But the best one was on the way back from the abandoned Cup Game against Ipswich at Maine Road a few years back. A very wet Wednesday night and the guy on the radio said spare a thought for the Ipswich fans who have travelled a long way tonight for nothing. The reply from the back of the car was -
'F*%k 'Em, Tractor driving, carrot crunching, w*&kers!!'
 
ForeverCity said:
yeasterday when playing fulham.

clint dempsey was ranting and raving and when it was silent this guy stood up and shouted.

"fuck off dempsey your a yank, you can't evan fight with a gun!"

everyone fell over laughing. :D
Click to expand...

i remember that one, thats the guy who has something to say about everyone.
my favourite was when someone tried to take fletcher on, he went, "FUCKS SAKE, HE'S SCOTTISH"
 
Wigan away this season we got off the train and walked into a pub full of blues. Sat with my dad (Im 14) and the Rags v Dippers were on. Some guy who seemed of Mexican origin was watching the game and it turned out he was a ManYoooo fan. He had a brief conversation with me when my dad went to the bar and a chant of "Chico is a Paedo, Chico is a Paedo na na na na!" We then moved away and he was isolated with a lady (I think.) Chico was suffering a wee bit of one-way-banter from the city fans and this angered his "ladyfriend." She then had a right go at him and stormed off. "Where's your sister gone?" "Where's your mother gone?" "She's not really here!" And a few more chants went up as he went off to the bar. Half time, Fergie on the screen, "Party at Chico's when Fergie dies..." and a few more before he cam back. A chant of "Does your beer taste like shit?" I won't go into that one...

Top day in the pub! If you weren't there doubt you'll find it too funny though.
 
also when we had villa in the prem this season.
winning 4-0 & they begin to sing.
"let's protend, let's protend, let's protend we scored a goal."
and all began to cheer.
haha.
 
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