Funniest thing you have heard at a match

Not sure if its been mentioned, haven't read all the posts, one of the funniest things I have heard in recent times was when Portsmouth came to CoMS..

David James was flexing the pink keepers top, cue "Who's the faggott in the pink..."

The response of "Englands number 1" made me chuckle, fair play to them....
 
mcfc-mike said:
best one ive heard for a while was the other saturday at middlesboro in the fa cup,

3000 city fans freezing their bollox off in about -8, when the tannoy announces

''message for all manchester city fans, greater manchester highways agency advise all routes back to manchester are passable with care''

immediately a chant breaks out of

citys going home
were going home
were going home
were going
citys going home,

made me forget for a minute that i couldnt feel my hands and feet
Click to expand...

I remember that, Class!

I was on the front row that day, freezing but brilliant.
 
Bristol away very early 80's, 5000 blues packed behind the open end goal.Pre match entertainment a dog handling exhibition.
Out came the patsy but wearing a City scarf onto the pitch firing blanks from a revolver.
The home crowd booing and jeering, whipped up by a buffoon with a microphone.
The patsy ran towards our end still firing blanks to more mayhem from the home fans.
Out of the tunnel came a slobbering brute of an alsation dragging a wretched police handler behind him looking for blood.
Packed behind the goal our entire end went quite,you could almost hear 5000 Blues thinking the senario through.
As one voice we burst into " Shoot the dog, shoot the dog, shoot the dog "
Classic Manchester wit
We boo'd the inevitable outcome and for not following our advise
 
I have read the site for ages but never posted but on reading this thread I just had to join and share my story. I actually can't believe its not been mentioned already. Top thread this btw.

It was last season when we were playing Newcastle at Coms. We were in the process of signing Shay Given and he didn't play for Newcastle that day and Steve Harper was playing. Anyways I was right behind the goal next to the away fans and the whole first half blues were singing "where's your keeper gone, wheres your keeper gone, wheres your keeper gone, where's your keeper gone....." This was funny in itself then in the 2nd half Blues were singing to Joe Hart "England's, England's, England's number one..... England's England's, England's number one........" to which the Newcastle fans started singing "City's, City's, City's number two.....City's, City's, City's number two..."

Thought it was so funny and took in such good humour by all except Hart I think lol.
 
Unfortunately not a story I had the pleasure of witnessing first-hand but it made me laugh. One of my good friends - a previous housemate from Uni - is really into non-league football, used to go to see Worcester City every game but he joined the boycott against their chairman so he started traveling to see other games. One day he tells me he's gone to see a Welsh cup game, apparently it finished Afan Lido 5 Croesyceiliog 1. Of course, I responded by asking him if he could even pronounce those names; his response was as follows:

"I asked a crosssy watsit player how to pronounce it and he said in a broad welsh accent "I don't fucking know, we used to be called Cwmbran Wanderers it was much fucking easier."
 
when we played Omonia Nicosia at home and they were swaying back and forth, bloke behind me
"I wish they'd stop it! They're making me sea sick!"

Classic :)
 
United draw in an early kick off and city won this guy stood up and screamed at the top of his voice

Ive never felt more like singing the blues, city win united draw - it sounded funny

When playing blackburn, at 1 nil down (div 1, 4-1 win and prom to prem)

Someone screamed ashley ward, im going to put you in a ward.....(that was clever)

When playing United at the swamp (lost 4-3 with six minutes of injury time), some nob shouted here comes mtach winning michael whats his face, when he came on - talk about jinxing things
 
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