General / Mental Health Support Thread

kaz7 said:
I have come to this thread countless times to say hi but never posted because i dont know what to say about how i am, recovery is hard with all of my organs affected by what happened to me six months ago, told it will take another six months and i might never get back to where i was before

The follow up from the nhs has been amazing, scans and tests are still ongoing, itu follow up is intense, they have told me at every appt that what i am experiencing mind and body is perfectly normal, even the ptsd the shrink has said i have. I was invited to go back to itu and high dependancy to see if that would settle my mind down a bit, it has helped, also reading my notes has been good for me, i needed to know what happened as i was there one minute gone the next, mind fuck doesnt cover it

I got to hug the nurse i remember the most which was really important for me to do and i hope she felt the appreciation i had for her in particular but i couldn't fault a single person involved in my care from the hospital to my surgery and everyone in between, i have felt very safe all along

Anyway, hi and i am reading just not up to a proper conversation yet and my interest in football has not returned yet

Hope everyone is doing ok

Much love xxx
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Just read your post Kaz. Take each day as it comes. You’ll get stronger, it just takes time. Do what your body tells you and in time, your interests will return when you feel up to it. Take care x
 
ob said:
Anxiety through the roof dread going to work, awake most of the night. On train now and just feel like turning back as colleague messaged me both my manager and their manager in our office today. Think will struggle to make it through the day. I'm 63 been there 17 years and during night in my head was counting money I have across pensions, savings accounts to see if I could retire now so don't have to go back.
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If it’s the work that’s making you ill then finish. There’s no use being ill for the next four years. You’ll make ends meet somehow and your health will be much better.
 
Saturday was a relatively calm day
Sunday's been a nightmare, I couldn't get up and the longer I stay in bed the worse I feel
It's like my mind is punishing me for 'laziness' . It's not laziness it's very very severe depression. It's not for me to diagnose myself but I think it's psychotic depression.
Went for long walk but the demons are still snapping at my heels.
If I had the means and the balls I'd be gone. But I'm a coward.
I do not understand why they're not treating me as an emergency case. Absolutely flummoxed about that.
If violent fantasies do not meet the definition of fuckin emergency what the fuck does??
And just to add they're fantasies, I've certainly no intention of acting on them.
 
I have just happened upon this thread.
Fortunately, I am in a state of strong mental health, but I have had some very challenging periods in my life and I understand the difficulties some may face.
I send my thoughts to you, @PinkFinal, and others, in the hope that you find the support that you need.
 
PinkFinal said:
Saturday was a relatively calm day
Sunday's been a nightmare, I couldn't get up and the longer I stay in bed the worse I feel
It's like my mind is punishing me for 'laziness' . It's not laziness it's very very severe depression. It's not for me to diagnose myself but I think it's psychotic depression.
Went for long walk but the demons are still snapping at my heels.
If I had the means and the balls I'd be gone. But I'm a coward.
I do not understand why they're not treating me as an emergency case. Absolutely flummoxed about that.
If violent fantasies do not meet the definition of fuckin emergency what the fuck does??
And just to add they're fantasies, I've certainly no intention of acting on them.
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Of course it’s not laziness. I know from first hand experience, not me thankfully that getting out of bed is so difficult when your anxiety levels are very high. The fact that you did get out of bed and went for a long walk speaks volumes for your inner self. You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. Keep on at the professionals that should be helping you, in the meantime, keep up with those walks. Maybe listen to some easy listening music or a podcast while you’re doing it.
 
PinkFinal said:
Saturday was a relatively calm day
Sunday's been a nightmare, I couldn't get up and the longer I stay in bed the worse I feel
It's like my mind is punishing me for 'laziness' . It's not laziness it's very very severe depression. It's not for me to diagnose myself but I think it's psychotic depression.
Went for long walk but the demons are still snapping at my heels.
If I had the means and the balls I'd be gone. But I'm a coward.
I do not understand why they're not treating me as an emergency case. Absolutely flummoxed about that.
If violent fantasies do not meet the definition of fuckin emergency what the fuck does??
And just to add they're fantasies, I've certainly no intention of acting on them.
Click to expand...
Stop beating yourself up for being ill. None of it is your fault. When we're physically ill, we excuse ourselves but when it's mental illness, we feel ashamed and guilty for some reason. Stupid, isn't it?
 
kaz7 said:
I have come to this thread countless times to say hi but never posted because i dont know what to say about how i am, recovery is hard with all of my organs affected by what happened to me six months ago, told it will take another six months and i might never get back to where i was before

The follow up from the nhs has been amazing, scans and tests are still ongoing, itu follow up is intense, they have told me at every appt that what i am experiencing mind and body is perfectly normal, even the ptsd the shrink has said i have. I was invited to go back to itu and high dependancy to see if that would settle my mind down a bit, it has helped, also reading my notes has been good for me, i needed to know what happened as i was there one minute gone the next, mind fuck doesnt cover it

I got to hug the nurse i remember the most which was really important for me to do and i hope she felt the appreciation i had for her in particular but i couldn't fault a single person involved in my care from the hospital to my surgery and everyone in between, i have felt very safe all along

Anyway, hi and i am reading just not up to a proper conversation yet and my interest in football has not returned yet

Hope everyone is doing ok

Much love xxx
Click to expand...
Hang in there Kaz. I know you're a fighter and you will get your full strength back soon. Looking forward to discussing all things City with you in the coming season. All the best CLB
 
I'm really flaky at the moment. If I keep myself busy in the day (and that's easy, as I have more to do than I have time), I seem to be OK.

But I woke in the night last night, and to be quite honest, if I'd had a lethal pill to take, I'd have taken it without a single thought. I lay there for a good hour trying to think of a way to top myself that would work and not be too messy.

No idea whether to ask for help or not, as, like I said, most of the time I am fine. It seems to be an intermittent thing. I wonder if it will get worse.
 
BrianW said:
I'm really flaky at the moment. If I keep myself busy in the day (and that's easy, as I have more to do than I have time), I seem to be OK.

But I woke in the night last night, and to be quite honest, if I'd had a lethal pill to take, I'd have taken it without a single thought. I lay there for a good hour trying to think of a way to top myself that would work and not be too messy.

No idea whether to ask for help or not, as, like I said, most of the time I am fine. It seems to be an intermittent thing. I wonder if it will get worse.
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Lying awake in the middle of the night those thoughts are at there worst. Best thing you can do is ask, it can only help.
 
They've rung me up again
Someone asking the same questions I've been asked before
I'll see a psychiatrist tomorrow or Friday
I still do not think they realise how terrible and unbearable my situation is
Hopefully they'll know when I go to see the shrink
 
Mr merlin is making me laugh, since i got home he sits by his food but wont eat it unless i rub his back from top to bottom, he then kneads the carpet, purrs really loud and eats at the same time, the first male i have ever met who can multitask lol. Seriously though he really has not got over being left on his own for so long, i feel bad for him, lots of cuddling going on

I have the results of my recent mri scan of my brain and face on the 24th i hope this is the last scan for now as the dye they have to use fucked up my kidneys this time, it is toxic to uninjured kidneys as it is, i just feel that i am just on the edge of another immune system meltdown !

Although they say it will be another five and a half months ish recovery time then i will be able to see what i am left with i feel over the hump and on the way downhill, small but a nice thought to have

Me and mr merlin will be over this soon ish

Much love xxx

Has anyone heard anything about sebastian ?
 
PinkFinal said:
I think in essence I should probably think about ringing 999
Some of my symptoms are very serious (occasional violent fantasies , suicidal ideation)
I should have been helped before things got this bad
Fucking fucking fucking bollocks
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PinkFinal said:
They've rung me up again
Someone asking the same questions I've been asked before
I'll see a psychiatrist tomorrow or Friday
I still do not think they realise how terrible and unbearable my situation is
Hopefully they'll know when I go to see the shrink
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Good luck today PF it’s not easy to explain how bad you feel at times, sometimes you have to lay it on thick.
Maybe write down some of the posts you’ve made on here and hand it over to the psychiatrist. Try and point to the feelings you have, if it’s in your head mainly, insist they help and don’t come away until you’ve handed over your letter/post.

If I a stranger can tell you need help then the psychiatrist will know, your very good at explaining how you had a breakdown once before, stay strong PF
 
They've put me on a mild antipsychotic while they're waiting for the psychiatrist to assess me. I hope this happens soon.
I have spent the rest of the day lying in bed with heartburn , probably caused by the stress of all this. Very very unpleasant.
I'm desperate to get some relief from this very severe and unbearable depression. I'll probably need to go for a long walk.
Last night I spent an hour walking around a park in pitch black darkness LOL. It helped a lot as walking on grass saps your energy and that's my problem - I have all this energy which become demons from the pit of hell if not used.
 
God I'm suffering so much. It is agony.
It's not fair.
It's not moving quickly enough - the process to "help" me
I go for these long walks and it helps but the demons are back within an hour or so.
Ironically these long walks usually take me past the local health authority's 'Early Intervention' mental health unit.
But as far as I know you can't just walk in off the street you have to be referred.
Fucking can't do this much longer. I suppose that if I hung around a bridge long enough it'd be noticed and I'd be helped then.
 
BrianW said:
I feel I am just going through the motions.

Nothing matters anymore AFAIC. Nothing. I just wish I had a pill to take.
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We would miss you if you did take a pill Brian same for PF and everyone reading the thread The mental/ physical health service is broken right now making people wait for treatment try ringing the doctors for an appointment it’s the only thing you can do. Don’t be put off first thing in the morning. Tell the receptionist it’s urgent
 
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