Great sayings..

[Trevor Morley's Tache]

"Two sniffs of that and you're a greedy bugger"

My Granny if anyone ever farted.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

You'd forget your balls if they weren't in a bag..

Another one similar from my dad...'you'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on '

 

[urban genie]

This was a common one in our house while I was growing up.

Someone would say I thought .... and the reply from my gran would be "You onow what thought did?"
With some odd line like "Followed a muck cart, and thought it was a wedding".

 

[Big Swifty]

"After the Lord Mayor's Show comes the muck-cart" (as in yesterday at St Mary's)

 

[Tuearts right boot]

' Chin up lad, chin up.' From my gran.

 

[Bill Walker]

‘The trouble with always keeping both feet firmly on the ground is that you can never take your pants off.’

 

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

1, Prior preparation, prevents piss poor performance.

2, I’m going to see a man about a dog.

Proper prior preparation, prevents piss poor presentation.

 

[stevemacca]

Whenever anyone drops anything instead of the usual 'Sack the juggler' remark try this witty repost:

' Good job your balls are in a bag son, otherwise you'd be dropping those'

 

[Dirty Harry]

Whenever someone was whispering or muttering something under their breath, my Mam would pipe up “what you selling there” ?

 

[Hayley Croppers chopper]

A man while looking at a photograph said, "Brothers and sisters have I none. That man's father is my father's son." Who was the person in the photograph?

1. Who is my father's son? Answer. Me.
2. Who is the father of the man in the photograph?. Answer. Me.
3. Who is the man in the photograph? Answer. My son.

I am not surprised you don’t get this conundrum @Stoned Rose , do you know @Tommy_Catons_Perm or any of his family?