Great sayings..

[Metalartin]

Anybody asleep on a train to whose jib you take an instant dislike should be slapped.

Is this one of those "in" jokes that bypassed me? Seen a few references to slapping people asleep on trains in the past few weeks on here.

 

[Big Swifty]

Mad as a box of frogs

 

[Bill Walker]

Better to fart and shame yourself than burst your bladder and maim yourself.

 

[idahoblues]

I love that one - 'He's a great poster is that Blue Mist'

Hmmmmm, never heard that one

 

[AliBobbyJ]

Stop talking and give your arse a rest.

 

[nw42]

Stop talking and give your arse a rest.

You don't know your arse from your elbow.

 

[AliBobbyJ]

Mad as a box of frogs

Daft as a brush,

 

[Banshee]

If you think I'm short you should see my patience...

I like to use that when folk tell me I'm vertically challenged like its a big revelation

 

[Magicpole]

If you think I'm short you should see my patience...

I like to use that when folk tell me I'm vertically challenged like its a big revelation

I get the, you're tall arent you. I usually look at them the way I would look at a dog shit lying on the road. Then force a laugh and say, yes I am. That's only with old women. Everyone else just gets the stare.

 

[crazyg]

You were lucky if you had sugar on yours

And on that note:

 

[york away to this!]

"Oh well, 1-2 down and we're in injury time. Shall we do an early dart?"...

 

[Barcon]

Barley sandwich.

 

[Kakhaber The Great]

When I was spinning her a cover story, my mum would respond with "Do you think I was born floating down the Irwell on my mother's piano!"

She also used to say "Don't stand there like Piffy on a monument!" When I was just stood around.

 

[solley attwell]

People in glass houses can't afford to throw black pots

 

[Magicpole]

Just because you have a new arse, don't forget your old one.

I like that very much.

 

[Barcon]

Hanging around like a spare dick waiting for a wedding.

 

[blueish swede]

bloke at work says

Ladies first, even in a snow storm.

 

[laserblue]

Whoever smelt it dealt it.

 

[laserblue]

He's so tight he'd peel an orange in his pocket.

 

[denislawsbackheel]

Better to keep your mouth shut and let everyone think you are a fool than open it and remove all doubt.