How do I get out of this without faking my own death?

[PistonBlue]

Go as Rene from 'allo 'allo. Odds on there's a saucy divorcee dressed as as a french maid there just begging to sit on your knee.

There might be 'wacky' bloke dressed as a french maid as well though, so watch your back

 

[SteWadda]

Go as Rene from 'allo 'allo. Odds on there's a saucy divorcee dressed as as a french maid there just begging to sit on your knee.

There might be 'wacky' bloke dressed as a french maid as well though, so watch your back

I'm sure the mrs would love that.

 

[ChrisNUFC]

You forgot tights/leggings allowed to be worn on the Bigg market!

N means a lot cheers ;)

And that's just the blokes, sorry, ''blerks''!

I assume you mean blourkes! Im not a dipper ffs

 

[jimharri]

You forgot tights/leggings allowed to be worn on the Bigg market!

N means a lot cheers ;)

And that's just the blokes, sorry, ''blerks''!

I assume you mean blourkes! Im not a dipper ffs

Dipper, geordie. Same difference!

;-)

 

[ChrisNUFC]

And that's just the blokes, sorry, ''blerks''!

I assume you mean blourkes! Im not a dipper ffs

Dipper, geordie. Same difference!

;-)

You'll be asking me to calm down next!

 

[jimharri]

I assume you mean blourkes! Im not a dipper ffs

Dipper, geordie. Same difference!

;-)

You'll be asking me to calm down next!

Would it do any good?

 

[Ancient Citizen]

I think you are going to have to go if you value your relationship.

On a side note i'm actually looking forward to the next crisis in my life (in a morbid way) so the good folks on here can advise me how to get through it!

Pardew sacked? Newcastle Brown getting classed as a 'ladies' drink? Deep fried food banned in Newcastle?

Never fear, Bluemoon is here.

You forgot tights/leggings allowed to be worn on the Bigg market!

N means a lot cheers ;)

Or even a ban on being shirtless at St. James' Park, thereby depriving us all of the Adonis-like bodies on show.

 

[The Pink Panther]

Three fancy dress options

1/ The safe option. Track suit and trainers. Pin paper plates with sausage rolls, butties and other party food to your top and you go as a "running buffet"

2/ Go as an Indian (native North American) chief. This runs a medium risk as it's pretty much nailed on there'll be a squaw or two there

3/ High risk. Go dressed as a doctor. No doubt at all some slag will ask you to examine her as well as it being absolutely certain some slapper will be in a naughty nurse outfit

 

[jimharri]

Three fancy dress options

1/ The safe option. Track suit and trainers. Pin paper plates with sausage rolls, butties and other party food to your top and you go as a "running buffet"

2/ Go as an Indian (native North American) chief. This runs a medium risk as it's pretty much nailed on there'll be a squaw or two there

3/ High risk. Go dressed as a doctor. No doubt at all some slag will ask you to examine her as well as it being absolutely certain some slapper will be in a naughty nurse outfit

Number 3 it is then!

 

[johnmc]

The missus has you in the bad books for necking another woman. And you wanna let her go to a fancy dress party dressed as wonder woman and expect no one to try it on with her. And if she is drunk and a bit flirty and SWP's Back is there in his gladiator get up she is going to go for it isnt she.

And if no one does crack on to her while she is wearing a wonder woman outfit when you arent there then she isnt worth it anyway mate so sack her off.