abu13
Well-Known Member
As Harvey Dangerous said "I'm not sick but i'm not well"
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Summerbuzz
Guest
Fell apart last night, very afraid and very very sad. Took some painkillers and watched a movie. Abysmal night in bed. Restless leg going off, all sorts of horrible symptoms, some flu-like stomach ache. I might be carrying a bug but who knows, it's not unheard of for me to feel pretty dreadful at night anyway.
Much, much better today. Let myself go back to bed for an extra hour. Did some housework. Walked. Sat very quietly and generally calmly.
Getting dragged in to shouting matches with myself is the enemy. It's a dreadful, dreadful habit. Seeing it and treating it as if it was just another bad habit has helped to some extent.
I've picked at some mindfulness practises before. I stuck on a video whilst sitting at my window and it worked fairly quickly. Watching the seagulls and magpies in the evening sun turned out to be a moment full of rich beauty and a sort of easy, familiar poignancy, not dissimilair to a drink with good friends. Does that make sense? Days, tasks, threads, conversations, worries, pains, meals, things just fly by sometimes, and they aren't satisfying. If you try to find things that you are used to making you feel better, maybe watching a movie, it can be like the good stuff isn't quite there, it's less visually engaging than you might hope, bits of the story or direction might seem a little ugly, it just doesn't hang together. I've done that a lot. Line up things to do, and bounced off them again and again. But tonight the birds circled over the houses opposite and the colours and the way they flew, I found myself watching and experiencing all those intangible nice things that happen when you are not trying or worrying or thinking.
I was recommended recordings and books by Shinzen Young. He's a student of Zen (AFAIK) but is teaching concepts and techniques to do with the 'mindfulness' that western doctors and therapists reccomend. He's an American and he and the lessons are informed by neurology, physics and western psychology and psychiatry in a very straightforward way - very different to, say Deepak Chopra's mumbo jumbo.
The way these teachers talk, they emphasis the lack of successfulness, the need to just keep practising and learning how to move the invisible muscles that allow you to adjust your mental state, and like if you would practise the right physical exercises, your posture might improve, if you practise the appropriate mental exercises, you hope to find your mental state better adjusted. You wouldn't know which muscle groups to move to stand up straighter and comfortably... but if you did the exercises, you might easily appreciate the benefit of the better posture, and it becomes a positive reinforcement to your experience at that time.
Bad habits, such as my shouting at myself internally, then become less enticing, less interesting than the chance to experience things in a healthy, relaxed, nice way.
So getting to thinking that way has helped, certainly more so than trying to plead or reason with myself to not be excessively negative.
Much, much better today. Let myself go back to bed for an extra hour. Did some housework. Walked. Sat very quietly and generally calmly.
Getting dragged in to shouting matches with myself is the enemy. It's a dreadful, dreadful habit. Seeing it and treating it as if it was just another bad habit has helped to some extent.
I've picked at some mindfulness practises before. I stuck on a video whilst sitting at my window and it worked fairly quickly. Watching the seagulls and magpies in the evening sun turned out to be a moment full of rich beauty and a sort of easy, familiar poignancy, not dissimilair to a drink with good friends. Does that make sense? Days, tasks, threads, conversations, worries, pains, meals, things just fly by sometimes, and they aren't satisfying. If you try to find things that you are used to making you feel better, maybe watching a movie, it can be like the good stuff isn't quite there, it's less visually engaging than you might hope, bits of the story or direction might seem a little ugly, it just doesn't hang together. I've done that a lot. Line up things to do, and bounced off them again and again. But tonight the birds circled over the houses opposite and the colours and the way they flew, I found myself watching and experiencing all those intangible nice things that happen when you are not trying or worrying or thinking.
I was recommended recordings and books by Shinzen Young. He's a student of Zen (AFAIK) but is teaching concepts and techniques to do with the 'mindfulness' that western doctors and therapists reccomend. He's an American and he and the lessons are informed by neurology, physics and western psychology and psychiatry in a very straightforward way - very different to, say Deepak Chopra's mumbo jumbo.
The way these teachers talk, they emphasis the lack of successfulness, the need to just keep practising and learning how to move the invisible muscles that allow you to adjust your mental state, and like if you would practise the right physical exercises, your posture might improve, if you practise the appropriate mental exercises, you hope to find your mental state better adjusted. You wouldn't know which muscle groups to move to stand up straighter and comfortably... but if you did the exercises, you might easily appreciate the benefit of the better posture, and it becomes a positive reinforcement to your experience at that time.
Bad habits, such as my shouting at myself internally, then become less enticing, less interesting than the chance to experience things in a healthy, relaxed, nice way.
So getting to thinking that way has helped, certainly more so than trying to plead or reason with myself to not be excessively negative.
Magicpole
Well-Known Member
I tidied up the garden today and cut the grass, it's looking great. I've been going for walks as it's easier living in a rural area. I've seen deer, buzzards and some great female arses of cyclists go by me all saying hello.
I'm not prone to anxiety and am doing ok. But I know that could change and am trying to not let my thoughts go wild. I am super sensitive to every cough, ache etc but I try to laugh at myself for being a hypochondriac twat.
Tomorrow I will finish cleaning the glass in my greenhouse and as I've cleared it out and plan to grow tomatoes, chillies and basil in it. If the wind fucks off I hope to sit in the garden later and have a few glasses of wine and listen to a few tunes.
I'm not prone to anxiety and am doing ok. But I know that could change and am trying to not let my thoughts go wild. I am super sensitive to every cough, ache etc but I try to laugh at myself for being a hypochondriac twat.
Tomorrow I will finish cleaning the glass in my greenhouse and as I've cleared it out and plan to grow tomatoes, chillies and basil in it. If the wind fucks off I hope to sit in the garden later and have a few glasses of wine and listen to a few tunes.
gazinho
Well-Known Member
I've been completely fine until yesterday where I had an absolute shitter of a day, combination of things I think but a brief summary is not seeing 15 year old properly Gaz for 2 weeks, Mrs Gaz working from home so I've got to entertain a 2 and a 9 year old all day without going anywhere, my work still not sorting out laptops for everyone so I'm stuck in limbo I just want some kind of clarity so I can plan my days.
Today though is a new day, the sun is shining, I'm going to get the little ones in the garden when it warms up and keep myself busy painting the fences.
If anyone is struggling or just fancies a chat then my dm's are always open.
Also when all this is over I'm going to search out Peppa Pig and family and introduce the annoying bastards to my grill!!!!!!
Today though is a new day, the sun is shining, I'm going to get the little ones in the garden when it warms up and keep myself busy painting the fences.
If anyone is struggling or just fancies a chat then my dm's are always open.
Also when all this is over I'm going to search out Peppa Pig and family and introduce the annoying bastards to my grill!!!!!!
Blumers Bloomers
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 25 Jan 2008
- Messages
- 7,091
Thought I was doing alright but today had been a shitter
Really struggling to get motivated working from home even though I’ve got plenty to be getting on with.
Start afresh tomorrow. Will try and get early for a walk and appreciate the morning calm
Really struggling to get motivated working from home even though I’ve got plenty to be getting on with.
Start afresh tomorrow. Will try and get early for a walk and appreciate the morning calm
BlueHammer85
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 13 Oct 2010
- Messages
- 36,850
I’ve definately got better by the day, however my Mrs dropped a bit of cake on the floor and went into a hysterical laughter- so beginning to think she’s starting to crack.
Nellies left peg
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 3 Dec 2017
- Messages
- 9,835
That's the attitude, pointless worrying about thinks beyond your control, continuing as normal is not possible but stressing yourself out is not the best way forward. Music is a great way to relax and abit of sun on your face in the garden can work wonders. Keep it up mateI tidied up the garden today and cut the grass, it's looking great. I've been going for walks as it's easier living in a rural area. I've seen deer, buzzards and some great female arses of cyclists go by me all saying hello.
I'm not prone to anxiety and am doing ok. But I know that could change and am trying to not let my thoughts go wild. I am super sensitive to every cough, ache etc but I try to laugh at myself for being a hypochondriac twat.
Tomorrow I will finish cleaning the glass in my greenhouse and as I've cleared it out and plan to grow tomatoes, chillies and basil in it. If the wind fucks off I hope to sit in the garden later and have a few glasses of wine and listen to a few tunes.
PannickAtTheDisco
Well-Known Member
Day by day, and just compartmentalising, just shrunk the world into my own surroundings and not worrying about outside of that as much as possible.
Making home a bubble.
Making home a bubble.