I need some girl advice

ono said:
I've been with a girl for getting on for two years. Originally we got on great. Everything was great. However she's had a lot of issues to deal with mainly over her ex boyfriend being a complete toolbox. He bullied her basically.

This has lead to her being quite snappy and blunt with people at times. For the last year or so she's been like that with me, to a point where it's put a strain on our relationship. So we decided to split up around 4 weeks ago, but decided to still see each other as friends just to see if her attitude changed.

Since then, we've gone out more (meals, cinema etc) and we've seen each other a little less, and generally we've got on much better. Basically it feels like we're still a couple, but technically we're not.

She still tells me she loves me and i still love her.

But over the last few weeks she's been getting quite pally with my best mate. My mate feels guilty over it, because he is aware of how it probably looks. I trust my mate, and i sort of trust the girl. The problem is, i don't know what to make of it. She's always had half an interest in getting to know some of my mates, and the lad in question is probably my only mate who she wouldn't consider to be a bit of a prat, so it makes sense that she gets to know him.

It's just that, this as all happened at a point where were not really together. She got him to pick her up from work on Saturday, which is alright because i don't drive anyway. She phoned me from his house to explain, and then asked if i wanted to go to the cinema with him, her and another lad mate. So i did. I was a little wound up, but i saw a decent film and felt a bit better (The social network - it's decent).

At the end of the night i went home and so did she. The next day she was coming down for sunday dinner. She did. We watched a film and then had textbook intercourse. It really was top notch.

I walked her home, and out of politeness i asked if she wanted me to call in tonight on my way home from (to be honest i was hoping she said no). She did infact say no because we shouldn't see eachother everynight. Which i agree with.

This was all good until my mates phoned me this morning. He says he wants to go out with me on Wednesday. I thought this was odd and i could tell he had something on his mind. He then said 'has she told you i'm seeing her tonight?', to which i replied 'no has she fuck'. I said i'd pencil him in for wednesday anyway.

The problem is, i totally trust him, but if this continues it's going to drive a wedge between us. I mean, if i randomly started seeing her mates without her, she'd go ape shit. I don't want to be a twat and tell her to knock it on the head because i'm genuinley unsure as to whether this is all innocent or if it's a little more sinister.

She'd been texting me this morning and i can't be arsed being nice to her. She's a great girl in general and i'm definitely batting above my average (and so would my mate if he was slipping her one). I just don't want to make a hasty decision, so i need some thoughts. I understand most will think my mates nobbing her, but i honestly don't think it's at that stage. So yeah, thoughts?
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You need to sit down with your mate and explain how you feel about this girl and ask him to back off. If he has any respect for you he will do just that.

You will no doubt then get questions from your (ex) girlfriend as to why you have interferred with their friendship. This is the time for you to be honest and 100% genuine with her, and she with you. Everything must come out in the open, her feelings towards you, your mate, etc.

If the answer isn't music to your ears, and there is no way of patching things over, it's gonna be a tough period for you, but you always have your pals on Bluemoon to help support you through thick and thin.

Good luck pal.
 
Cant be arsed reading through 5 pages but I suspect you're probably just starting to see the real her now... You will probably find out her 'nasty' ex isn't such a bad bloke after all.
 
Normally, I would say that you should trust your mate, because if everything is as you've said then he'll know better than to betray you in that way.

However, after recent personal revalations I feel as though I should be telling you to trust neither of them. Especially your ex, she knows exactly what she's doing.
 
Has she got a sister? If so smash the sister then get her to tell 'your bird' that she's dumped.
 
Some good advice on here (and comedy gold from BB2 and Ono jousting).

Ricster summed it up for me a few posts back. You need to tell your mate you are really not comfortable with him getting close to your ex. Its not like you split up a few years back and have both moved on. Neither of you have moved on yet. So your mate is either being a twat or, at the least, very very inconsiderate here.

You need to tell him so
1/ He knows for sure that you are not even remotely okay about this
2/ He can't use ignorance as an excuse when it comes out that he's been knobbing her and he's full of apologies ('I'm sorry bud. If I'd known how strongly you felt about this I'd never have made a move on her. I honestly thought you guys were through and you'd be sort of okay about it')

Forget about her for now. Concentrate on your mate and let him know exactly what the score is - if he fucks her then he will lose your friendship and/or a tooth.

Then, when she kicks off at you and says its none of your business etc simply ask her to imagine how she'd feel if you started getting really friendly with her best mate.
 
Lucky Toma said:
Some good advice on here (and comedy gold from BB2 and Ono jousting).
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Jousting
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