Joke of the day

[Joycee Banercheck]

My Grandad moved into an old folks home last week so yesterday i rang up to find out how he's going on, the matron said he's a bit like a fish out of water,I said he's having trouble fitting in then.No he's dead.

Lee Mack is king.

 

[rushts]

My Grandad moved into an old folks home last week so yesterday i rang up to find out how he's going on, the matron said he's a bit like a fish out of water,I said he's having trouble fitting in then.No he's dead.

Lee Mack is king.

Well they say small things please small minds.......

















been pissing myself laughing for 10mins.

 

[jimharri]

''Breaking news; board members at Harry Ramsden's are fearing a hostile takeover from the winners of the Euromillions jackpot.''

 

[Anonymous]

MCFC Bob was that ugly as a kid, his mother fed him with a catapult

And he's so fat , every time he turns around it's his birthday lol.

 

[BackofJeanette]

My son fell asleep at a recent house party we had, so I decided to shave his eyebrows off and draw a cock on his face.

My wife went mental when she picked him up to breast feed him.

 

[Joycee Banercheck]

What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?

One walked on the moon............................. And the other one fucked kids.



Think I've posted that before though.

 

[Barcon]

What's the difference between a fridge and a pussy?
A fridge won't fart when you pull the meat out.

 

[talkativesprout]

Whats the difference between cirque du soleil and Malibu beach

Ones full of cunning stunts
the other has sand on it

 

[Joycee Banercheck]

What is a chav's favourite ice cream flavour? Mint
What do you call a chav in a filing cabinet? Sorted
What do you call a chav in a suitcase? Innit

Two chav's on top of a cliff decide to have a race to the bottom of the drop. Who wins? Society.

 

[Warwickhunt]

What do a gynecologist and a pizza delivery boy have in common?

They can both smell it but can't eat it.