Joke thread

[tangaroa]

I rang Babestation the other night and the woman said "Hi sexy, what can I do for you?"

I said "fucking hide! my wife is coming and I cant find the remote!!!"

 

[southstander93]

dear Deirdre

i was secretly wanking and sticking a finger up my bum as i spied on next doors teenage daughter through her upstairs window having a bath, when i spotted my wife in the door of my bedroom watching me with her arms folded and a scowl


is my wife a pervert ?

This one killed me, did not expect that haha!

 

[Mr Bungle]

One day two blondes walk into a perfume shop. The one blonde picks up a bottle of perfume that is titled "Viens Chez Moi."

The blonde asks the manager what it means, and the manager says it means, "Come to Me."

So the blonde smells the perfume and asks her friend, "Does this smell like come to you? Because it doesn't smell like come to me."

 

[mrcunny]

Hear about the short-sighted circumcisor?

He got the sack

 

[Blue Tooth]

I was in the cinema watching a weepy film when the bloke behind me started wailing.

Next thing I know I've got a harpoon in me back.

 

[Dj1979]

.

 

[Blue Mist]

I phoned babestation the other night and when I got through I was met with a sexy alluring voice asking me ' hey big boy what do you want me to do for you?', so I said ' hide I've lost the remote and the wife's coming down the stairs!'

Whilst I dont expect you to have read all 160 pages to see if your joke has already been posted, checking one page back might be an idea otherwise people will think you have just nicked it from twitter or somewhere !



Just sayin'.

 

[Dj1979]

Just saw it I was only on about Page 50 about to be edited dam it beaten to the punch by less than a day

 

[Dicko69]

the mrs came home after buying an outfit for a fancy dress party
she put it on to show me
"wow" i said "thats the best killer whale costume i've ever seen"

she said

"i'm going as a nun you tw@t"

 

[Sam.]

What's Ian Watkins' favourite guitar chord?

A minor.