Joke thread

[citizen_maine]

Is the battery for his E-bike ?

Why? Has he left it outside?

 

[dickie davies]

Why? Has he left it outside?

It seems that way

 

[Lavinda Past]

This year’s Fibonacci convention is going to be really special.

Apparently, it’s as big as the last two put together.

 

[KS55]

Why? Has he left it outside?

Just outside the chippy.

 

[MCFC68]

 

[Lavinda Past]

A woman gets a call from her accountant who asks, ‘What I write in the profession, of your tax form?’

The woman replies, ‘You know I’m a prostitute.’

The accountant thinks it would be too offensive to write her profession as ‘prostitute ’.

‘Ok then… put it down as a chicken farmer.’ She suggests.

‘Chicken farmer?’ The accountant asks.

‘Yes… I raised five hundred cocks last year.’

 

[Lavinda Past]

Little known fact....

In order to kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart.

As you'd expect, the process is painstaking.

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Little known fact....

In order to kill a French vampire, you have to drive a baguette through its heart.

As you'd expect, the process is painstaking.

You're back on top form

 

[RadcliffeRick]

You're back on top form

Your definition of "top" is not very high!! :-)

 

[Xhavenjoe]

Your definition of "top" is not very high!! :-)

I think pep signing an extension has made me a little giddy.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

Your definition of "top" is not very high!! :-)

It's because he has very low datum line

 

[Xhavenjoe]

t's because he has very low datum line

I must confess that I used to find Benny Hill funny

 

[Lavinda Past]

I must confess that I used to find Benny Hill funny

 

[Lavinda Past]

It's because he has very low datum line

 

[Lavinda Past]

Did you know that you can actually hear the blood running through your veins?

You have to listen variclosely.

 

[Sam101]

My Grandad was a WWII veteran.


In just one day during the Battle of Britain, he destroyed 8 German aircraft killing 32 Nazi aviators.



Easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.

 

[Lavinda Past]

I heard that my neighbour is struggling financially and can't afford his water bill.

I sent him a get well soon card.

 

[Hertzblue]

 

[Lavinda Past]

I called my doctors surgery this morning.

"I need to make an appointment for as soon as possible," I said, "Everything in my ear is echoing."

"Ok," she replied, "How does tomorrow sound?"

I said, "Morrow, orrow, row, ow."

 

[bluethrunthru]