Uwe Already
Well-Known Member
Haha yeah better, I likely was told a mildly cleaner version when I was younger, aiming for the vintage joke ;)
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Uwe Already
Well-Known Member
My granddad had his tongue shot clean off during the war, he never spoke about it…
Bigg Bigg Blue
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Uwe Already
Well-Known Member
I love a waik in the dales. I am a creature of habit. On every occasion into my rucksack go map, compass, waterproof, and my tablet onto which I have downloaded tons of soul music. Then I make a tuna sandwich. Into a mixing bowl goes a tin of tuna, beaten egg, salt, pepper and a fresh herb if I have any. The mixture is spread on a thick slice of white bread with another on top. This is fried in butter and turned over at half way to produce a lovely crispy sandwich. Wrapped in foil it goes into the rucksack with a bottle of water.
Then I set off, usually up Wharfdale, to enjoy the countryside. Half way through the day I stop at a suitable rock or patch of grass to enjoy my picnic.
Out comes my tablet and the music starts. I unwrap the sandwich and open the water. It’s absolutely bliss, my hike and tuna turnover.
Then I set off, usually up Wharfdale, to enjoy the countryside. Half way through the day I stop at a suitable rock or patch of grass to enjoy my picnic.
Out comes my tablet and the music starts. I unwrap the sandwich and open the water. It’s absolutely bliss, my hike and tuna turnover.
Olaf the Norseman is shopping at a supermarket when he comes across an old lady in a wheelchair, almost in tears.
"What's the matter?" asks Olaf.
"Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets."
"No problem," says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you."
Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.
At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.
"I would really like to thank you," says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, "but I don't even know who you are!"
Olaf just waves and walks off.
"I was really worried about you," says the old lady's husband. "What have you been doing?"
She replies, "Well, I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."
"What's the matter?" asks Olaf.
"Oh," sobs the old lady. "I want to have a look at the frozen puddings but, as you can see, there are three steps down into the chiller cabinets."
"No problem," says Olaf, lifting her onto his back. "I'll take you."
Olaf strolls through the chiller cabinets with the old lady on his back. She selects several puddings and puts them in the basket he is carrying for her.
At the other end the old lady's husband is waiting with her wheelchair.
"I would really like to thank you," says the old lady as Olaf sets her back down in the chair, "but I don't even know who you are!"
Olaf just waves and walks off.
"I was really worried about you," says the old lady's husband. "What have you been doing?"
She replies, "Well, I've been through the desserts on a Norse with no name."
sir baconface
Well-Known Member
Would that be Olaf?
bluethrunthru
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TonyColemansbagofapples
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- Joined
- 24 Sep 2017
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You’re rambling now
I decided to take up golf for the first time and as it's VE week I thought I'd enter a WW2 tournament at our local club. Well the first hole went down in 39, the last hole in 45 and the rest of the time I was in the bunkers.