Joke thread

[douglas1977]

What's the difference between jam and marmalade?














You can't marmalade your cock up a birds arse!

 

[mrcunny]

An american tourist asks an irishman:"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the irishman replies:"They have to go in backwards,if they fell forwards,they would still be in the fucking boat!"

 

[Tuearts right boot]

A clown surprised his post lady by not being able to fully stick his cock in her letterbox.

 

[Anonymous]

An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a letterbox. The new post woman said "is this a joke?"

 

[nw42]

The Boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people,
Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super
workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who
used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all
night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and
said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'

'Could you jack off ?' she says. 'I feel like shit.'

 

[Lavinda Past]

The Boss had to fire somebody, and he narrowed it down to one of two people,
Debra or Jack. It was an impossible decision because they were both super
workers. Rather than flip a coin, he decided he would fire the first one who
used the water cooler the next morning.

Debra came in the next morning with a horrible hangover after partying all
night. She went to the cooler to take an aspirin. The boss approached her and
said: 'Debra, I've never done this before but I have to lay you or Jack off.'

'Could you jack off ?' she says. 'I feel like shit.'

What's this got to do with the postman? Is Jack looking through the letterbox?

 

[jimharri]

An Englishman, Irishman and a post lady were standing outside a house, looking at a letterbox.....

 

[Lavinda Past]

An Englishman, Irishman and a post lady were standing outside a house, looking at a letterbox.....

... and some dick tried to push a joke through it.

 

[samharris]

An american tourist asks an irishman:"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the irishman replies:"They have to go in backwards,if they fell forwards,they would still be in the fucking boat!"

Best joke ive read on here that>> quality..

 

[Lavinda Past]

An american tourist asks an irishman:"Why do scuba divers always fall backwards off their boats?" To which the irishman replies:"They have to go in backwards,if they fell forwards,they would still be in the fucking boat!"

Best joke ive read on here that>> quality..

You obviously haven't read the one about the postie and the letterbox yet.

Get ready to split your sides.