Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
kippaxneil
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- Joined
- 10 May 2007
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- 237
You always remember your first love. I met her at a local petrol station where she worked.
After a two year relationship, she dumped me...I was devastated.
It was such an emotional and upsetting time. Even now, I can't drive past without filling up.
After a two year relationship, she dumped me...I was devastated.
It was such an emotional and upsetting time. Even now, I can't drive past without filling up.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A lady of the night takes a Russian sailor to her room. As she takes off her top he sees her shaved armpits. “What no wool?”, he asks. “No”, she said, “in England we shave our armpits”.
She takes her stockings off and he exclaims “What no wool? She explains that in England ladies shave their legs.
As she starts to take her knickers off, he says, “What no wool?”
“Look mate”, she yelled at him, “have you come to f@#k or knit?
She takes her stockings off and he exclaims “What no wool? She explains that in England ladies shave their legs.
As she starts to take her knickers off, he says, “What no wool?”
“Look mate”, she yelled at him, “have you come to f@#k or knit?
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
What do you get when you mix goat DNA with human DNA?
You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
You get kicked out of the petting zoo.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
What dog has five legs?
An XL Bully in a playground
An XL Bully in a playground
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
My grandfather was tortured by the Japs in World War 2. They cut his tongue out.
He never talked about it.
He never talked about it.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A vicar is on a train and this pregnant woman gets on and sits down opposite him.
As they travel the vicar is reading his newspaper and the woman takes out her knitting.
As she is knitting, about every 20 minutes she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills from which she takes one and swallows it.
This goes on for about an hour when the vicar sees the label "Thalidomide" on the bottle.
"Excuse me", says the vicar to the woman, "Do you know the effect that could have on your unborn child?"
"It’s OK" says the woman "I can't knit sleeves."
As they travel the vicar is reading his newspaper and the woman takes out her knitting.
As she is knitting, about every 20 minutes she reaches into her bag and pulls out a bottle of pills from which she takes one and swallows it.
This goes on for about an hour when the vicar sees the label "Thalidomide" on the bottle.
"Excuse me", says the vicar to the woman, "Do you know the effect that could have on your unborn child?"
"It’s OK" says the woman "I can't knit sleeves."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A man walks up to a woman in his office each day, stands very close to her, draws in a large breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice.
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.
The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget !
After a week of this, she can't stand it any longer, and goes to Human Resources. Without identifying the guy, she tells them what the co-worker does, and that she wants to file a sexual harassment suit against him.
The HR supervisor is puzzled by this approach, and asks, "What's sexually threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?"
The woman replies, "It's Keith, the midget !