blue44
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- Joined
- 20 Jun 2009
- Messages
- 9,026
- Location
- Ashton-u-lyne,Manchester.
- Team supported
- St Marks West Gorton
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
kippaxneil
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 May 2007
- Messages
- 257
I can't stand people who always think they're worse off than everyone else.
My mate Derek is brilliant...a few years ago, he had a nasty accident and lost both feet and his voice.
But does he make a song and dance about it?...
My mate Derek is brilliant...a few years ago, he had a nasty accident and lost both feet and his voice.
But does he make a song and dance about it?...
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A man goes to the cemetery to visit his late wife. He notices a man across the way who is inconsolable. The man is pounding the ground with his fist and sobbing “why did you have to die why why why?
The other man rushes over and tries to calm him down. He says “I understand the deceased must have been very very close to you”. The man, still sobbing, says “no, I never met him” and begins pounding the ground and repeating “why why why did you die?”
The first man is terrbly confused. “May I ask you who is buried here?”
The sobbing man pauses and says... “it's my wife's first husband “.
The other man rushes over and tries to calm him down. He says “I understand the deceased must have been very very close to you”. The man, still sobbing, says “no, I never met him” and begins pounding the ground and repeating “why why why did you die?”
The first man is terrbly confused. “May I ask you who is buried here?”
The sobbing man pauses and says... “it's my wife's first husband “.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I'm going to hell...
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
True story, I worked for a data technology company supplying betting information to bookmakers. A new system was developed and a promotional leaflet was produced for the reps to sell, in it, the system was described as, "all singing and all dancing".
After what could be described as a bit of a disaster one of our Customers rang our Office based in Salford, he said:
"this system you sold me that is all singing, all dancing, well it's now got a sore throat and gout"
kippaxneil
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 10 May 2007
- Messages
- 257
A 73 year old woman has been in court for streaking at the recent Chelsea Flower Show.
She was let off with a caution but was awarded 1st prize for Best Dried Bush arrangement.
She was let off with a caution but was awarded 1st prize for Best Dried Bush arrangement.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
dickie davies
Well-Known Member
A gas man knocked at a door. A young lad about 14 answered dressed in suspenders, fish net stockings, wig, basque and full make-up. He's holding a glass of brandy in one hand and a spliff the size of a Cornetto in the other
The gas man says, 'Hiya mate, is your mam or dad in?'
Kid replies, 'What do you fuckin think?'
The gas man says, 'Hiya mate, is your mam or dad in?'
Kid replies, 'What do you fuckin think?'