Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Think it may have been a Manning joke

Anita Manning off Bargain Hunt?

Shirley not!

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Dicko69]

How do Welsh men find sheep in long grass?

Irresistible

 

[Dicko69]

What's the best part of when a hooker dies on you?

You get the 2nd hour free

 

[sir baconface]

My doctor’s got a sense of humour.

Went to see him yesterday with a strawberry up my arse.

He put some cream on it.

 

[blue44]

 

[blue44]

 

[Lavinda Past]

A preacher was delivering a temperance sermon one hot Sunday afternoon.
With great expression, he said,
"If I had all the beer in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

With greater conviction, he banged his fist on the pulpit;
"And if I had all the wine in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."

Finally, he said,
"And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I'd take it and throw it into the river."
Sensing he delivered a powerful sermon, he whipped his brow and sat down.

The choirmaster, with shock on his face, looked over the congregation, stood very cautiously, and announced with a wry smile,

"For our closing song, let us sing Hymn number 365..
"Shall We Gather at the River?"

 

[Hertzblue]