Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
mancity2012_eamo
Well-Known Member
I not did!
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
The wife and I were going on holiday, and when we got to the airport I said to her, "I wish I'd brought the television."
She said, "Why, do you think we'll get bored?"
I said, "No, the passports are on top of it!"
She said, "Why, do you think we'll get bored?"
I said, "No, the passports are on top of it!"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I'm writing a song about getting my door lock changed.
It's quite good with a key change at the end.
It's quite good with a key change at the end.
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Bill Walker
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A man takes a week off work and decides to play a round of golf every day. First thing Monday morning, he sets off and soon finds himself catching up with a stunning woman playing in front of him.
He suggests that they play against each other for the rest of the day and she agrees. The woman proves to be very talented, and wins on the last hole. Afterwards, she accepts the man's offer of a lift home and, on the way, admits she hasn't enjoyed herself so much for a long time. "In fact," she says, "why don't you pull over so I can show you how much I appreciate it." So the man pulls over and, to his delight, the woman performs oral sex on him. They arrange to play golf again the next morning. Once again the woman wins, and she shows her appreciation in the same way on the journey home.
This goes on every day, and on Friday, the man reveals he has booked dinner at a restaurant and a night of passion in a hotel.
On the way there, the woman suddenly bursts into tears. "I can't do it," she says, "You see, I'm a transvestite." The man is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, and pulls the car to a screeching halt. "You fucking cheat!" he screams. "You've been playing off the ladies' tees all week."
He suggests that they play against each other for the rest of the day and she agrees. The woman proves to be very talented, and wins on the last hole. Afterwards, she accepts the man's offer of a lift home and, on the way, admits she hasn't enjoyed herself so much for a long time. "In fact," she says, "why don't you pull over so I can show you how much I appreciate it." So the man pulls over and, to his delight, the woman performs oral sex on him. They arrange to play golf again the next morning. Once again the woman wins, and she shows her appreciation in the same way on the journey home.
This goes on every day, and on Friday, the man reveals he has booked dinner at a restaurant and a night of passion in a hotel.
On the way there, the woman suddenly bursts into tears. "I can't do it," she says, "You see, I'm a transvestite." The man is aghast. He swerves violently off the road, and pulls the car to a screeching halt. "You fucking cheat!" he screams. "You've been playing off the ladies' tees all week."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A farmer visits his friend down the road and as they are chatting the visitor notices a 3-legged pig hobbling by the house.
That's a strange pig he says.
You bet, says his friend. A couple weeks ago that very pig noticed our house was on fire and he squealed until we woke up. Saved our lives. He's a special pig for sure.
Then just last week my tractor upset and pinned me under it. Well, old piggy here ran back and squealed until Gladys followed him back and saved me again. Yep, a special pig.
Wow! That's amazing! But tell me, why does he only have 3 legs?
Oh! Well, a pig that special you don't eat all at once.
That's a strange pig he says.
You bet, says his friend. A couple weeks ago that very pig noticed our house was on fire and he squealed until we woke up. Saved our lives. He's a special pig for sure.
Then just last week my tractor upset and pinned me under it. Well, old piggy here ran back and squealed until Gladys followed him back and saved me again. Yep, a special pig.
Wow! That's amazing! But tell me, why does he only have 3 legs?
Oh! Well, a pig that special you don't eat all at once.
