kippaxneil
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- 10 May 2007
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- 237
Crikey, it's been a hot afternoon....spare a thought for all those working in Greggs today. They must be baking in there.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
bluethrunthru
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balotellishaircut
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- 20 Mar 2014
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Can someone let me know the name of the bar in the 80s/90s Boston based TV show which featured Ted Dansen, Woody Harrelson etc
Cheers.
Cheers.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A bloke really hated his wife’s tomcat. One day, when his wife left for work, he decided he was finally getting rid of it.
He put the cat in a bag, drove to a nearby forest, and released it. When he returned home, the cat was sitting in front of the door, waiting to be let in.
The bloke was really annoyed but decided to wait a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, drove farther away from home this time, and released it.
He came home… and shortly after him, the cat came home too and started meowing in front of the door to be let in.
By that time, the bloke was furious but he waited a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, and this time drove 10 miles straight, 20 miles to the left, 15 miles to the right, then straight, then right, then left, then right, left, straight, left, right…
After more than 200 miles he stopped and released the cat.
In the evening, the home phone rang. The wife was already back from work, so she picked it up. On the other side was her husband.
“Oh, honey, it’s you?!” she asked in dismay. “Where are you??”
The bloke was absolutely fuming and could barely speak. “Is the cat at home?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” his wife replied. “He came home five minutes ago. Why?”
“Put the fucker on the phone! I'm lost!!”
He put the cat in a bag, drove to a nearby forest, and released it. When he returned home, the cat was sitting in front of the door, waiting to be let in.
The bloke was really annoyed but decided to wait a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, drove farther away from home this time, and released it.
He came home… and shortly after him, the cat came home too and started meowing in front of the door to be let in.
By that time, the bloke was furious but he waited a few more days. When his wife left for work again, once more he put the cat in a bag, and this time drove 10 miles straight, 20 miles to the left, 15 miles to the right, then straight, then right, then left, then right, left, straight, left, right…
After more than 200 miles he stopped and released the cat.
In the evening, the home phone rang. The wife was already back from work, so she picked it up. On the other side was her husband.
“Oh, honey, it’s you?!” she asked in dismay. “Where are you??”
The bloke was absolutely fuming and could barely speak. “Is the cat at home?” he asked through clenched teeth.
“Yes,” his wife replied. “He came home five minutes ago. Why?”
“Put the fucker on the phone! I'm lost!!”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I just had a call from Trip Advisor.
They told me to leave my shoelaces untied and walk around for a bit.
They told me to leave my shoelaces untied and walk around for a bit.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Dave Ewing's Back 'eader
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Belgium would be far better if they had made a statue of Lukaku pre-tournament and had that up frontl
citizen_maine
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- 29 May 2011
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Did he leave his bike outside?
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
maccieblue
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- 12 Dec 2008
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- 1,489
I see you are still posting ancient Bernard Manning jokes