Joke thread

[Dicko69]

 

[Lavinda Past]

It is said that some of Lavindas' jokes were too risque to be allowed on here.

Yes.




Lavinda's blue....




Taxi!!

Dilly Dilly

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[bladdered]

 

[Lavinda Past]

Bill Clinton and the Pope both died on the same day.

Due to a clerical error, the Pope went to Hell, while Clinton went to Heaven.

When the Pope arrived in Hell, everyone realized the mistake. Due to an issue with the union, they couldn't swap the two until the next day, and the Pope had to spend the night in Hell, while Clinton spent the night in Heaven.

The next day the paperwork got worked out. On his way up to Heaven, the Pope ran into Clinton. Clinton asked the Pope, "How was your night in Hell?"

"Very educational," responded the Pope. "I've learned a lot from the experience, but now I'm glad I'm going to Heaven. I've been waiting all my life to meet the Virgin Mary."

"Ooh, sorry," said Clinton, "you should have been here yesterday."

 

[Lavinda Past]

A nurse in a care home walked past one of the bedrooms to see an elderly lady sucking on her husbands penis.

She came in and said "Mrs Philips, you can't do that."

"Why not?" She asked, "I enjoy doing it."

"Yes." She replied, "but it was meant to be buried with the rest of him."

 

[Lavinda Past]

I quit my job accessing large deposits of water deep underground,

It was well boring.

 

[BackofJeanette]

 

[bennyboy]

Hee Hee.

 

[Tuearts right boot]

View attachment 127145

Good enough for the semi.