Joke thread
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Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
jimharri
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What's the first sign of madness? Suggs meandering up your driveway.
First heard at the Brixton Alhambra, circa 1985. But it bears repeating.
First heard at the Brixton Alhambra, circa 1985. But it bears repeating.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
The teacher was telling the kids about the birds and the bees and she explained that when a man and a woman meet and fall in love, nine months later the stork usually brings them a little baby from its nest.
Little Gemma at the back of the class put her hand up and asks the teacher, "Are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you're getting your birds mixed up 'cos my big sister just got a little baby and she said it was from a shag at the beach...."
Little Gemma at the back of the class put her hand up and asks the teacher, "Are you sure about the stork, miss? I think you're getting your birds mixed up 'cos my big sister just got a little baby and she said it was from a shag at the beach...."
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
An old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship holding her hat tight so that it would not blow away in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.? I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon me, madam.? I do not intend to be forward but did you know that your dress is blowing up in this high wind?"
"Yes, I know," said the lady, "I need both my hands to hold onto this hat."
"But madam, you must know that you are not wearing any panties and your privates are exposed!" said the gentleman in earnest.
The woman looked down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"
jimharri
Moderator
Guy is sitting on the edge of the bed pulling off his boxers, to which his girlfriend said, "you spoil those dogs."
blue b4 the moon
Well-Known Member
Chris Eubanks?