Joke thread

[Lavinda Past]

Very true.
We went to Jesolo near Venice a couple of years ago in late September. The hotel gave us a a ticket for two sunbeds at the beach across the road, we went one day and the beach was pretty much deserted with hundreds of empty sun beds. We got settled and about ten minutes later a German couple came up and said we were using their sun beds. I checked the ticket and he was correct but we asked why they couldn't use another pair as there were dozens all aorund where we were. He insisted that we moved??

They were just obeying orders....

While it may be a generalisation, Germans have a reputation for sticking to rules/laws very strictly.

 

[Really_here]

They were just obeying orders....

While it may be a generalisation, Germans have a reputation for sticking to rules/laws very strictly.

That reputation is well earned, I've worked with quite a few in the past and spent quite a lot of time over there.

 

[balotellishaircut]

Applications are invited for prospective builders interested in the construction of Everton manager Sean Dyche new house on Merseyside. It’s a 2 up/ 3 down.

 

[Indaparkside]

Applications are invited for prospective builders interested in the construction of Everton manager Sean Dyche new house on Merseyside. It’s a 2 up/ 3 down.

And the floorboards mustn’t squeak like his voice

 

[Vienna_70]

A Texan farmer went to visit his distant relative, also a farmer, in Cornwall.

A couple of days after he’d arrived and recovered from his jet lag, the host thought he’d show his relative around the farm. It was about 200 acres and he was very proud of it.

As they were walking around, the Texan said, "I can get in my car in the morning, and I’m still on my land in the evening".

The Cornishman replied, "Yeah, I used to have a car like that, too".

 

[Barcon]

Very true.
We went to Jesolo near Venice a couple of years ago in late September. The hotel gave us a a ticket for two sunbeds at the beach across the road, we went one day and the beach was pretty much deserted with hundreds of empty sun beds. We got settled and about ten minutes later a German couple came up and said we were using their sun beds. I checked the ticket and he was correct but we asked why they couldn't use another pair as there were dozens all aorund where we were. He insisted that we moved??

Was your bike outside?

 

[BackofJeanette]

Just taking to my neighbour , he said I was going the shops earlier an your Dog went for me . I said that’s strange he never offered to go for me in all the time I’ve had him .

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[Bill Walker]