Joke thread

[Vienna_70]

Many years ago, Clive Anderson interviewed Mikhail Gorbachev via an interpreter, on his Sunday evening talk show.

At one point, Gorbachev told the following joke:

During the days of the Soviet Union, two guys were queuing to buy some bread.

One of them was so pissed off that the queue was so long, he said to his mate, "Fuck this, I’m going to kill Gorbachev".

After only a few minutes, he returned to his friend.

"What happened?"He asked.

"That queue is even longer than this one!"

 

[Lavinda Past]

Many years ago, Clive Anderson interviewed Mikhail Gorbachevvia an interpreter, on his Sunday evening talk show.

At one point, Gorbachev told the following joke:

During the days of the Soviet Union, two guys were queuing to buy some bread.

One of them was so pissed off that the queue was so long, he said to his mate, "Fuck this, I’m going to kill Gorbachev".

After only a few minutes, he returned to his friend.

"What happened?"He asked.

"That queue is even longer than this one!"

Old Russian jokes are great, but you have to be an FOC to really appreciate them.

These kids nowadays can't possible appreciate just how tough it was for us old buggers in those days... ;-)

 

[Vienna_70]

Old Russian jokes are great, but you have to be an FOC to really appreciate them.

These kids nowadays can't possible appreciate just how tough it was for us old buggers in those days... ;-)

I went to Leningrad for a weekend in October 1982.

I felt on edge the whole time I was there.

But, looking back, I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience the Soviet Union, even if it was for such a short time.

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[KS55]

I went to Leningrad for a weekend in October 1982.

I felt on edge the whole time I was there.

But, looking back, I’m glad I had the opportunity to experience the Soviet Union, even if it was for such a short time.

I went to East Berlin at about that time. Weird doesn’t even cover it. Still got the photo of Mrs KS standing under the sign “Checkpoint Charlie.”

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[horlock_was_super]

Many years ago, Clive Anderson interviewed Mikhail Gorbachevvia an interpreter, on his Sunday evening talk show.

At one point, Gorbachev told the following joke:

During the days of the Soviet Union, two guys were queuing to buy some bread.

One of them was so pissed off that the queue was so long, he said to his mate, "Fuck this, I’m going to kill Gorbachev".

After only a few minutes, he returned to his friend.

"What happened?"He asked.

"That queue is even longer than this one!"

One of Bernard’s few clean jokes.
Russian bloke buys a car.
Salesman says delivery on the 1st June 3 years from now.
Russian bloke asks morning or afternoon?
Salesman asks does it matter?
Russian bloke answers - yes because I have a fridge being delivered in the afternoon.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A woman breaks up with a man with a small penis. His friends were amazed he didn't seem hurt or phased by the breakup.

It's okay," he said. "I wasn't that into her."

 

[Vienna_70]

I went to East Berlin at about that time. Weird doesn’t even cover it. Still got the photo of Mrs KS standing under the sign “Checkpoint Charlie.”

The first time I visited Berlin was in the summer of 1993.

Obviously, the Wall had fallen more than three and a half years earlier, but the divisions in the city were still clear.

It was a visit that changed my life.

 

[Lavinda Past]

A Russian man visits his cousin in England. When he comes back, his family have questions...

“What was it like?”

“It was wonderful! So many cars! So many people all happy and smiling! So many stores with food and amazing things to buy!”

“Did your cousin treat you well?”

“Of course. But he did one thing that was really strange”.

“What?”

“The first night I was there, we sat down at the table and he opened a bottle of great vodka and we shared a toast. And then he did the most extraordinary thing!”

“What was that?”

“He put the top back in the bottle!”