Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
No likee, no upvotee. One man's meat is another man's poison as they say.
The absence of your (or any other 'regulars') name under one of my post says it all.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
No likee, no upvotee. One man's meat is another man's poison as they say.
The absence of your (or any other 'regulars') name under one of my post says it all.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A woman reports her husband’s disappearance to the police.
They ask her for a description, and she says, “He’s six feet, three inches tall, well-built, with thick, curly hair.”
Her friend says, “What are you talking about? Your husband is five-feet-four, bald, and has a huge belly.”
And she says, “Who wants that one back?”
They ask her for a description, and she says, “He’s six feet, three inches tall, well-built, with thick, curly hair.”
Her friend says, “What are you talking about? Your husband is five-feet-four, bald, and has a huge belly.”
And she says, “Who wants that one back?”
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Woman goes to see a gynaecologist for the first time and is laying back when she hears him gasp
Worried she asks if everything is OK and the gynaecologist responds.
"Sorry, no, everything's fine and healthy don't worry. It's you just have the largest vagina I have ever seen, and I'm a gynaecologist"
"Realy, is it that big?" ask the woman
"oh yes, go home and stand over a mirror and have look"
So she heads home and follows instructions, and is stand over the mirror when her husband walks in sees her, and throws her across the room.
"What the hell, you nearly broke my fuckng arm" screams the woman
The husband responds - "If you'd fell down that hole, you'd have broke your fucking neck"
Worried she asks if everything is OK and the gynaecologist responds.
"Sorry, no, everything's fine and healthy don't worry. It's you just have the largest vagina I have ever seen, and I'm a gynaecologist"
"Realy, is it that big?" ask the woman
"oh yes, go home and stand over a mirror and have look"
So she heads home and follows instructions, and is stand over the mirror when her husband walks in sees her, and throws her across the room.
"What the hell, you nearly broke my fuckng arm" screams the woman
The husband responds - "If you'd fell down that hole, you'd have broke your fucking neck"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A football team named The Three Musketeers had the best season in history.
They won all 4-1.
Except for one.
Which they drew 4-4.
They won all 4-1.
Except for one.
Which they drew 4-4.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
A recent Mori poll stated that 'about half' of race-goers only attend the meetings for the social aspects. The actual horse races are irrelevant to them.
I think a Gallup poll would have been more accurate.
I think a Gallup poll would have been more accurate.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I met Phil Spector's brother Crispin the other day.
He's head of quality control at Walkers.
He's head of quality control at Walkers.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Called the vets this morning...
Me: "Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet Ostrich."
Vet: "Ok what's the problem?"
Me: "He's holding his head to one side."
Vet: "Hmm, maybe neck's weak?"
Me: "Haven't you got anything sooner?"
Me: "Hello, I need to make an appointment for my pet Ostrich."
Vet: "Ok what's the problem?"
Me: "He's holding his head to one side."
Vet: "Hmm, maybe neck's weak?"
Me: "Haven't you got anything sooner?"
horlock_was_super
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Jul 2009
- Messages
- 3,642
- Location
- In complete despair at 93:19
- Team supported
- Manchester City F.C.
Kiki’s brother Kris likes this post.