Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
I came home and found that my wife has been on Ebay the whole day.
If she's still on there tomorrow, I'll have to lower the price.
If she's still on there tomorrow, I'll have to lower the price.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Big Swifty
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Nov 2011
- Messages
- 4,317
What's the medical term for lesbianism?
Strapadictomy
Strapadictomy
Big Swifty
Well-Known Member
- Joined
- 8 Nov 2011
- Messages
- 4,317
An old Jewish guy was out one day walking his dog and he goes near a railway line. To his horror, he sees a man from his synagogue with his head on the line, and holding a salt-beef sandwich.
He says "Abie! Abie! What are you doing? You'll get killred!"
Abie says "My wife's left me, I've no job, I've no money, and nowhere to live.......this is the only way out."
The guy says "That's terrible.....but why the salt beef sandwich?"
Abie says "Well, you know how long you wait for a train these days?"
He says "Abie! Abie! What are you doing? You'll get killred!"
Abie says "My wife's left me, I've no job, I've no money, and nowhere to live.......this is the only way out."
The guy says "That's terrible.....but why the salt beef sandwich?"
Abie says "Well, you know how long you wait for a train these days?"
Grassland Blue
Well-Known Member
Two Arab women were talking one day.
One says to the other, "I've not seen you for a while, how are you and your family?"
The second Arab lady says, "Oh my husband and I are ok, but we are grieving the loss of 2 of our 3 sons".
"Oh that's awful", says the first woman, "What happened?"
"Oh they died fighting for the cause.
They were only 18 and 20 years old, suicide bombers ".
"Ah, the kids blow up too soon these days don't they.....?
One says to the other, "I've not seen you for a while, how are you and your family?"
The second Arab lady says, "Oh my husband and I are ok, but we are grieving the loss of 2 of our 3 sons".
"Oh that's awful", says the first woman, "What happened?"
"Oh they died fighting for the cause.
They were only 18 and 20 years old, suicide bombers ".
"Ah, the kids blow up too soon these days don't they.....?
dickie davies
Well-Known Member
A wrestle with the human equivalent of an XL Bully
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
What do I know about bonsai trees?
Very little
Very little
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Words can't describe how beautiful you are...
But numbers can.
2/10
But numbers can.
2/10
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
After meeting in a club, a couple can't wait and grabs a cab to the guy's house....
They're all over each other in cab, the garden, the hallway... he manages to get the door open, the tumble into the house, shut the door and tumble onto the couch in a passionate encounter.
After it is finished, the man says to the woman, "If I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken more time."
The woman replies, "If I knew you could have taken more time, I would have taken my tights off"
They're all over each other in cab, the garden, the hallway... he manages to get the door open, the tumble into the house, shut the door and tumble onto the couch in a passionate encounter.
After it is finished, the man says to the woman, "If I knew you were a virgin, I would have taken more time."
The woman replies, "If I knew you could have taken more time, I would have taken my tights off"
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
First day as a pilot.
Control tower: Can you give me your position?
Me: I am next to a cloud that looks like a lion.
Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Mufasa
Control tower: Can you give me your position?
Me: I am next to a cloud that looks like a lion.
Control tower: Can you be more specific?
Me: Mufasa