Joke thread

[citizen_maine]

It deserves an airing every now and then.....
:-)

Hopefully we don't hear it again for another 65 years

 

[fanatic1]

Old Hamish McTavish died and his family were summoned to hear the reading of his last will and testament. The solicitor intoned "I hereby bequeath all my Knutsford properties to my dear wife, my Wilmslow properties to my only son and my Alderley Edge properties to my daughter."

The solicitor paused and remarked "Wow. Old Hamish must have a very substantial portfolio."

His wife replied "Portfolio my arse. Those are his paper rounds"

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

View attachment 134638

He'd be alright once Angie has got her workers' rights through the house - one day and unfair dismissal kicks in!

 

[Dave Ewing's Back 'eader]

Now we have ' forever ' as in friend, home , car, dog etc...great if you're a pretentious, attention seeking twat.

The funny thing about these forevers is that they never seem to be 'forever'!

 

[Lavinda Past]

The funny thing about these forevers is that they never seem to be 'forever'!

So Liam was lying when he said me and him are going to live forever...?

 

[Alan Harper's Tash]

 

[Lavinda Past]

 

[northendenton]

Kier Starmer walked into a bar,

"Whiskey please bartender, " he asked.

The bartender served him his whisky, "Excuse me, this has got ice in it, I didn't want ice. " Said Starmer,

"No, " replied the barman, "neither did the fucking pensioners. "

Got the spelling of the drink correct 2nd time lol

 

[Bill Walker]

 

[BimboBob]

Got the spelling of the drink correct 2nd time lol

Unless he was in an Irish bar?