Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
If my jokes are as bad as you say Jim, repeating my posts just makes me think you're pulling my leg.
Joke thread
- Thread starter mrcunny
- Start date
If my jokes are as bad as you say Jim, repeating my posts just makes me think you're pulling my leg.
jimharri
Moderator
I had no idea you'd posted it, and I'm damned if I'm going to trawl through over two and a half thousand pages to check.
By the way; "if"?
;-)
Lavinda Past
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Bigg Bigg Blue
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The BBC News channel just displayed images of three women who claim that Jimmy Savile interfered with them sexually.
They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.
The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.
They showed a current picture of each of the women and a picture taken of each of them from the 1970s.
The caption read: Now, then. Now, then. Now, then.
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
Lavinda Past
Well-Known Member
After 60 years together, a couple’s three kids, all successful, agreed to a Sunday dinner in their honour.
"Happy Anniversary, Mum and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency with a patient at the hospital, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son No. 2 arrived. "You and Mum look great, Dad. I just flew in from London and didn’t have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then, the daughter arrived. "Hello, and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town, and I was really busy packing, so I didn’t have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to University. Through the years, your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and said almost in unison, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father. "Cheap ones, too."
"Happy Anniversary, Mum and Dad," gushed Son No. 1. "Sorry I'm running late. I had an emergency with a patient at the hospital, you know how it is, and I didn't have time to get you a gift."
"Not to worry," said the father. "The important thing is that we're all together today."
Son No. 2 arrived. "You and Mum look great, Dad. I just flew in from London and didn’t have time to shop for you."
"It's nothing," said the father. "We're glad you were able to come."
Just then, the daughter arrived. "Hello, and happy anniversary! Sorry, but my boss is sending me out of town, and I was really busy packing, so I didn’t have time to get you anything."
After they had finished dessert, the father said, "There’s something your mother and I have wanted to tell you for a long time. You see, we were really poor, but we managed to send each of you to University. Through the years, your mother and I knew we loved each other very much, but we just never found the time to get married."
The three children gasped and said almost in unison, "WHAT? You mean we're bastards?"
"Yep," said the father. "Cheap ones, too."