Joke thread

[KS55]

I`ve seen Tim Vine live and believe me he`s far far ahead of Lavinda.

Headline: “Oakie in vicious attack on Lavinda.”

 

[Sam101]

"Some cannibals have broken into a convent in a town just outside Coventry."

"Nuneaton?"

"Yes, several of them”

 

[Sam101]

I asked my German friend if he knew the square root of 81?

He said "No"

 

[blue44]

 

[r.soleofsalford]

I asked my wife what she would like for a birthday present. She said she'd love something with diamonds.

So I bought her a pack of cards.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday, she said she’d like a widows pension.

 

[r.soleofsalford]

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday, she said she’d like a widows pension.

I don’t think she was joking.